She shakes her head again. What else is there to say about this? All she knows is that it hurts because he's not coming back. Steve was all but dead when she last saw him and now he's gone. What hope is there that he'll come back after all of that?

"I don't know what to do now that he's gone," she manages after a moment, ignoring the tears that have started rolling down her flushed cheeks again. "He was my closest friend and I... I still barely saw or spoke to him. I was such a terrible friend. I didn't deserve his friendship, let alone the precious gifts he gave me."

Her phone, the oils she uses for her leathers, the family of her portrait... She doesn't deserve them any more than she deserved to be his friend. A sinner like her - what is she worthy of anyway? Hiding here in the Nexus and claiming she's doing right by her all but forgotten world. Strong as she may seem, she knows she's a selfish coward and Steve's bravery during the horrid battle with Khan only goes to prove that he deserved so much more from her.

Her head falls forward and her whole body slumps inward under the weight of her despair. "This is all so wrong. He never should have been hurt like this for doing the right thing for others. It's not fair."