"Break" / "Fuel" (Growing Pains - 2 & 3/?) [Self-Post]

[rogueinladysclothing]

"Break"

So she took her week to cry, to grieve and mourn the loss of what had once been, to fulfill the cycle that had always been her way.

Only this time... it wasn't enough.

There was no body to burn and return to the earth. No name to offer to the sky. No waters that could wash away all the pain and anguish and shame that she felt. And so she kept crying until she couldn't anymore, until the anger that came with the sorrow was all that she could manage. She held it in her heart and pressed onward, swearing that it was all she needed to get better.

But it wasn't. In the end, anger is never what fixes a broken heart.

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“Fuel”

The fire had been a complete accident.

In a fit of anger, she'd torn a page from her journal after scribbling nothing of value on it in the middle of a wasted afternoon of research, and thrown it at the wall. Emotions as out of control as they were, her magic worked without her conscious will behind it, lighting the piece of paper and then igniting the rug it landed on after bouncing off the magically protected wooden wall. The inn itself couldn't be set on fire, but all of the things inside of it could. Amelia watched in horror as the rug erupted in flames and inched toward the other furniture. She threw what remained of the water in her mug onto it and then rushed to throw her wool cloak over it. Cursing, she stomped until the heat died down beneath her and then carefully peeled her cloak away. The rug had been reduced to ash and her cloak was ruined, but the floor was spared any damage. Lucky, but it still threw something into focus that she'd been avoiding for a very long time.

Slumping to the floor slowly, she collapsed onto her hands and knees and stared at the remains of what she'd just done. It was time to let go of this place, to the way she'd been living when she still believed she could still go home to her world. It was time to move on and find a real home.