rogueinladysclothing: (Scared)
Amelia Royer (Ronsam) ([personal profile] rogueinladysclothing) wrote 2023-06-05 02:31 am (UTC)

He can't stop it. He can't promise something like this and make it be true, much the same as she can't make Aloïs come back to her. But maybe if he's here, maybe if he's not suffering from watching her, it won't so bad he can't pull her out when she does drown in it.

Maybe is all she has, and it may not be enough, but they don't get a choice, do they? Not here. Not ever.

She slips her arms around him as she tries to hold out a little longer, any attempt at words lost to the chattering of her teeth and the fabric of his shirt. She wants to tell him again that she'll be fine and mean it, but she can't. She... can't.

Her chest tightens as the sobs start; quiet at first as she continues to fight it, louder until she's all but screaming in anguish when she simply gives in. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to lose anyone, not like this. If they were going to go home, they were going to do it together. Not be ripped apart like this. Yet here she stands, crying and gripping at another of her loves as she mourns the loss of the first she didn't even know she had before coming here. It's not fair to Wolfe, and she wishes she was strong enough to send him away, but she's not. Dreams, she's not strong. Not anymore.

Her legs start to give out long before her tears have any chance of stopping, physical strength failing her as the hurt settles in further. Someone might as well have taken a knife to her chest several times over for how hard it becomes to breathe. This isn't the end of everything, but it's the end of who she was. The last thing that made her a leader, a member of the Family, is gone, taking love and strength with him.

This city takes so much more than it ever gives, and she's never felt is so sharply, so clearly as she does now.

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