rogueinladysclothing | A friendly visit [Tagging Viatorus]

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A friendly visit [Tagging Viatorus]

It hadn't been her intention to stay away this long. In truth, Amelia had intended to see Viatorus again right after Christmas, to thank him for his gift and make sure he wasn't in trouble for accepting hers. But after being cursed and then putting Steve through hell as she came down from it, she needed a few days to herself. Now, however, she feels fine. Now she wants to make good on her plans to see her friend again.

As she makes her way toward Viatorus' office, she realizes that, by postponing her plans, she's forgotten to make an appointment. Again. Normally, she'd consider pushing her way in as she did last time. Given her desire to not cause a scene, though, other measures need to be taken. Time for Amelia to exercise some of her more... questionable talents. It's early enough in the day to pencil in a late afternoon appointment, right?

When the office comes into view, so does Lyall. Amelia waits in the shadows of a nearby alley until the guard is distracted by some passerby before walking up and palming his scheduling notebook from a pouch on his belt. Once she has that, it's a simple matter of passably forging an appointment for herself in his handwriting and returning the notebook to his pouch when she's done - all in the span of about 60 seconds. That part of her plan complete, she heads off to a nearby cafe for a light snack and some tea to fill the time before her "scheduled" appointment.

About five minutes before said appointment, Amelia appears at the door to the office. Lyall doesn't exactly scowl at her, but his displeasure at seeing her is obvious, even if her lack of armor over her usual linen clothing and corset puts him a bit more at ease with her today. The rogue is completely undaunted as she steps up to him with a bright smile on her face. "I'm here to see Viatorus," she says in an equally bright tone. "But no need to worry today, friend, I have an appointment this time."

Lyall crosses his arms in front of his chest and rolls his eyes at her. "You most certainly do not." His voice rumbles from deep within his chest, and would likely scare off most people. Sadly for him, Amelia is not most people.

"Please check your appointment ledger - I have an appointment with Viatorus this afternoon." There's a certain smugness in her eyes that doesn't match her cheery tone of voice, but she can't quite help it on this one.

Begrudgingly, Lyall grabs his appointment book and opens it, his eyes widening when he sees an appointment listed for the current hour. When did that get there? He's certain he didn't put that in, but... there it is, in his handwriting and everything. He looks up at her with a look that is equally surprised and upset. "Amelia Ronsam, I presume?"

How she manages to keep smiling when she wants to be grinning is anyone's guess. "Yes. I'm not too early, am I? I can wait out here if necessary." It's a good thing Lyall works for Viatorus, or she might be getting her friend in some serious trouble right now.

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Lyall stares back down at the book and then at Amelia for a long moment, but then he folds his arms unhappily and turns away with a grunt. She can knock on the door, it looks like. He's a Durant guard, not a butler.

The knock will bid the door to open by itself, or appear to. Really it's Viatorus who waves his hand and gets it to open, because he's halfway to his study with a mug of tea. Rushing over and spilling tea just wouldn't do. Seeing who it is, he smiles brightly. "Amelia! How are you?"

If Lyall steps out of the way, then Amelia will most certainly knock on the door herself. Her back being to the guard is a great excuse to let that grin she's been hiding through.

The grin fades into a smile when the door opens and she sees Viatorus inside. She steps inside quickly and closes the door behind her. Her cloak will stay on until he officially invites her to stay, but he has her full attention once she's inside. "I'm well. Fully recovered from all of the holiday festivities." That's a bold statement given the curse she endured, but still true. "How have you been?"

Edited 2016-01-04 02:30 (UTC)

"Good, good." He carefully guides his mug to a shelf so he can set it aside. "Please, come in, sit down. Would you like a cup of tea? I would have made a pot if I knew..."

She laughs softly as she removes her cloak and hangs it over one end of the couch. "Sorry, I only penciled myself in a little earlier today. I meant to come visit sooner - and make a proper appointment to appease your guard - but something came up." It's completely true, if a little misleading. But after dealing with the curse for over a week, she'd rather not talk about it. The whole point of coming here is to see Viatorus and see how he's been doing, not to talk about herself.

"I would love a cup of tea, though, if it's not too much trouble." Her smile is light and easy as she takes a seat on couch. "I also have some tea I got for Christmas that I could share, if you'd like. It's a bit of an odd combination - rose and lavender petals - but it's very soft and soothing." Which is honestly a large part of the reason she likes it, even if it is quite strange.

"Oh, it's alright. I'm just not used to having visitors like this." He smiles at her and gives a lopsided shrug. "It's nice. "

"I've just made myself some tea." And throwing out hot tea is blasphemy. "But I could make you some of yours if you'd prefer it."

Not drinking tea before it gets cold is also blasphemy, one she intends not to let occur here today. "Really? That would be lovely." She stands and pulls a small ceramic container from her pouch, handing it to him carefully. The light scent of roses and lavender emanate from it. "Thank you - I really appreciate it."

While he's making tea, she'll settle back into the couch, pulling out her book of poetry from Verity from another pouch and leafing through it if there's time. Hopefully he won't think it's rude - she doesn't want to follow him around everywhere and make him feel awkward about her showing up without any notice.

"It's not a bother. I like making tea," he tells her as he accepts the container, holding it as if it were glass.

He isn't long, returning with a china mug for Amelia as well as her container of tea and setting them both on the coffee table. "It smells lovely. Would you like any milk or sugar for it?"

Her book is quickly stowed when he returns and she shakes her head at his question. "No, thank you. I like it just the way it is." She carefully picks up the container of tea and puts it away before turning back to him with a smile.

"I never asked what you would be doing, so this may be a terrible question depending on what your family does, but how did the holidays treat you? And you didn't... get in any trouble for accepting my gift, did you?" In this case, she's not just thinking about Verity, because she has no idea how his sister would react to finding out he has an artifact like that.

Viatorus picks up his own cup of tea and settles slowly into an armchair. At her questions, his brow lifts and he puts on a small smile. They're not questions he particularly wants to answer, and certainly not truthfully. His voice is a little sing-songy and light. "Oh, they were fine, it was fine. I spent some time with Verity and Naugus and the chao. My family has a meal together for Yule, so I got to see some relatives I like."

One, anyway.

"What about you? Did you have fun? Did you try eggnog, or sing carols?"

The sudden change in his tone tells her he's not being completely truthful. When people aren't used to lying, they have a tendency to give themselves away like that. Her smile becomes sympathetic. "Your family was that bad, huh?" It seems a fair assumption that things went well with Verity and Naugus, as Verity doesn't seem the type to let her holidays be ruined by pretty much anything. Not even racist grandpa Naugus.

"Some, yes." She picks up her cup of tea to give her an extra few seconds to think of how to phrase her response. "Verity and I exchanged gifts on Jül's eve, then brought gifts to Steve, and a few days later Steve brought me a present on Christmas. I... was out of sorts, though, so the gift had to wait a few days, but that's all right. He actually got me the tea I'm drinking now." Her cup is lifted slightly to emphasize her point. "I was by myself for most of the holiday time, though, so I think I missed out on a lot of the traditions people told me about. No one told me about eggnog or carols, though. What are they?" Despite the weight on her shoulders, she hopes he'll be kind enough to answer her question. She really is curious as to what these things now that he's mentioned them.

"No, no. They were fine. It wasn't bad." It's pretty clear that he's lying, and badly too, but he's sticking to it. Anything to keep the tone cheerful. "The goose was nice."

"Oh! Next time I'll have to pay more attention to these things. I would have... done... something..." His eyes roll to one side as he considers that, really, him throwing a party would be a disaster in the making. Best to avoid that. Amelia gets his attention again. He can explain things until the end of days, so it's a much better topic. "Eggnog is a sweet, milky alcoholic drink. It's very nice when it's made well, but it can be sickly if it's not. Carols are songs that people usually sing during festive celebrations. Mostly it's for Christmas, and a lot of them are based around the Christian beliefs, but they're really lovely to hear. They're usually sung by choirs, groups of people who have worked to make haunting, beautiful harmonies. Some are just fun to sing though."

He's a terrible liar, but the way he's so terrible at it speaks volumes. No need to push further when he doesn't want to talk about it. Her smile remains sympathetic and she nods. "I'm glad you found some enjoyment in spending time with your family." That's true, at least.

She laughs softly. "No, it's quite all right. I realized everyone from a world with these holidays would have plans already and I didn't want to intrude. It gave me time to read and focus." Not necessarily on good things, but that's beside the point.

"Huh, that doesn't sound too bad. Except if the eggnog got too sweet, of course. I can see that ruining everything." The joke should be fairly obvious, but she gives him a wink to reinforce the point. She takes a sip of her tea before adding, "There seems to be a lot of traditions that surround many Christian things. Is religion really that important on Earth?" She's not trying to come off as rude or to ruin the mood, she's just curious. Learning about new things from books is one thing, but hearing first hand accounts from her friends is that much better.

"Next time I'll make more time for my friends here." A twist of his lips brings a sheepish smile to his face. "I've never had friends to think about before. I... I'm not used to it."

The wink is a good idea, because he'd work to clarify that otherwise. As it is, he's allowed to move on to more questions and answers. He nods seriously. "It really is." Then he hesitates. "The reason why... is explained differently by different people."

She chuckles softly. "I don't think a lot of us are used to having as many friends as we've found here in the Nexus. It's a nice change of pace, though, isn't it?"

Her face softens, but her curiosity remains. After taking a sip of her tea, she sets her cup aside and turns toward him a bit more. "If it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to explain it, but I'm curious to know how you see it." Learning things through the eyes of someone who's got such a unique view of the world is always enlightening, but she's not going to push if he gets uncomfortable. The last thing she wants is to push him away now that they've started speaking again.

He nods in agreement, smiling. "It is."

Eyes flickering back into focus, he smiles softly, reassuringly. "I'm sorry. It's... It's just I know that there are people who don't believe in the gods, or any gods, and they think we're all mad, Christian and pagan alike. They... They think that people back then were superstitious and didn't understand the world. That the Christian 'God' was created to explain natural phenomenon. That all gods were."

Sitting back, he rubs the back of his neck and shrugs. "But the things I've seen... The gods I know aren't made up. They're divine and unknowable, but they're real. The... The problem is that in history people have used their gods as an excuse to take what they want. They claim divine right so that they can ignore everyone else. It gives them power. Eventually the more important figures and cultures became Christian and that has become one of the main five religions. That's why it's so influential."

His reverence for the gods he speaks of is obvious, but it's not something she can fully relate to. With how little she's seen, she doesn't believe in them. That could change, but for now, she believes only in what she's seen. Magic has been a big step for her - the gods can wait a little longer.

"People always look for a reason to cause trouble," she notes softly. "Gods may not exist in my world, and we may not have magic, but there are still plenty of reasons for people to claim superiority over one another." Her tea cup is reclaimed so she can take a quick sip before continuing. "I think I understand, at least a little, why there are so many Christian things here. So many of the worlds attached to this place are versions of Earth - it's completely understandable that many of these people would hold and bring over these Christian beliefs when they came here. And I guess it stands to reason that if it's this prevalent here in the Nexus, it would be many more times so on the version of Earth these people came from."

A thought occurs to her and she tilts her head slightly before asking, "Does it color people's dreams as well? Their religious beliefs, I mean. Obviously personal experiences do, so I wonder also if things people believe but don't know also would." It might seem like an odd question, but considering her culture's beliefs about dreams and the afterlife, it's something she feels inclined to ask.

Amelia's musings get gentle nodding from the scholar as he silently agrees with her. It's good to hear her getting to grips with a culture that is so alien to her. Truth be told, parts of it are alien to him too. Still, he's comfortable here, in this exchange of information given and knowledge extracted.

He's in the middle of a sip of tea when she asks about dreams. In a hurry to answer, he narrowly avoids choking as he swallows and nods. "Yes. It all does. Everything about who a person is, and their experiences. Your beliefs are part of who you are, why you believe them too. Then there's all the symbolism that comes with religious beliefs."

It's really hard for her to stifle a laugh when taking in his eagerness. She ends up hiding behind her tea cup until he's regained his composure so as not to make him feel like she's laughing at him ~~like it could be any other way at this point~~. She nods along and waits a moment after he finishes his explanation before asking, "What kind of symbolism do you mean? I'm afraid I don't know enough about Christian beliefs to fully understand."

And then, as an afterthought, "If dreams are the culmination of everything we are as people, then what do my dreams say about me?" This is a much more personal question, but she isn't intimidated by that. After inviting him in so closely, discussing what he saw in her dreams doesn't feel like something that's any more intimate or private. Besides, they're friends - if they can't talk about something they shared, what can they talk about?

"That depends on the dreamer, but... Christianity emphasises the guilt of mankind. A lot of people's fear and guilt appears with Christian values and imagery." It's the best explanation he can give without going into specifics.

Viatorus thinks as he sips his tea and lifts a shoulder in a half shrug. "Not much more than you've told me. You're fixed on your home, your family and friends. Your mind is eager to resolve the fears you have around them, around being apart from them. Your psyche is trying to help you resolve those issues. It's trying to tell you something. But... I changed the dream. So I can only comment on what happened before that."

He shuffles a little closer and leans forward. "Was it alright? Your dream? It didn't turn sour, did it? Was it good? Did you feel rested afterwards?"

"Guilt of mankind?" That's not a phrase she's familiar with at all. "I don't understand - what would all of mankind be guilty of? Is it something from their past or some religious belief again?"

Her smile becomes the slightest bit sad when he speaks of her family, but she nods all the same. Before she answers, she finishes her tea and sets aside her cup. With a small sigh, she leans forward, resting her forearms on her legs. "That follows along with what I remember, but I honestly can't recall any particulars of what went on. It felt... familiar, at first, like the dreams I'm used to having. Loneliness, regret, emptiness." She clasps her hands in front of her and looks up at him with curious eyes. "But then it was different, as if something happened that made all of the pain and emptiness fade away. I was... happy. I feel like... I got closer to someone, got to do something I've been wanting to for a while. I just wish I could remember what happened."

Slowly, she smiles at him. "Whatever it was, it was beautiful, and I'm so thankful for the gift."

"Sin. I don't understand it fully, but the Christian God seems to consider a lot of things as sinful and wrong. Something worth punishing or something they should seek repentance for."

Their situations might be difference, but he understands the importance of family. Sad smiles are going to be inevitable for the foreseeable future, but as long as they can talk about beautiful things at the same time. She has his full attention and he smiles when she does. "I'm glad. You seemed happy when I left you with your friend."

"Oh." Sin is a topic she knows a lot about. It's usually a touchy subject for her as well, considering how stained - both literally and metaphorically - her hands are. Still, her curiosity is getting the best of her. "I understand what sin is, but for all of mankind to be full of it... is their very existence a sin? At least when viewed through Christian beliefs?"

Smiles are for the best when they're talking about family, even if family causes some annoyances. "Friend?" As she looks up at him again, she briefly sees another face over his. The lightest pink color touches her cheeks. How did she never notice before how similar the two of them looked? They're so different in personality, but...

She smiles in spite of herself and grips her hands together tighter, lest she reach out and touch his face to make sure it's not the one she's been longing to return home to. "The two of you... you look remarkably similar. I can't believe I didn't notice until now." She laughs, a small, ironic kind of sound. "You and Nathan couldn't be more different if you tried, but you look like you could be brothers." Life is funny, sometimes, and this is one of those times that Amelia isn't certain if she's okay with that - if only because she's now extremely confused.

"I don't know. I never did study much of it. The way they see the world..." He shakes his head. "It doesn't make sense to me."

Luckily, he doesn't take note of the pink in her cheeks, being too distracted by the stretching smile which he returns with a small, confused tilt of his head a furrowing of his brow. That confusion is quickly cleared up and he blinks, surprised at the answer. He's not sure how to take it, so he smiles. "Oh. Thank you... I think. I mean, that's... that's not uncomfortable for you, is it?"

"It doesn't sound like it makes a lot of sense from an outside perspective either," she agrees. Seems people are strange no matter what world they're from. All that varies is the how.

His question causes her cheeks to become a little more darkly colored. "I... don't know." It's an honest answer, if an unhelpful one. "I honestly hadn't thought about it until now. As I said, the two of you are so different that I just... never put the pieces together." She shrugs lightly, her gaze falling to the empty tea cup in front of her. "If I'm being completely honest, it's actually kind of comforting. A small something that's more familiar than the rest of this place. Perhaps it's not the kind of comfort I should be looking for, but I'm grateful for it either way."

A small sigh escapes her and her shoulder slump forward. "Sorry. This... idea of the two of you being alike - it was a lot to drop on you without having thought through it. If I'm making you uncomfortable, let me know and I won't mention it again." It'll still be in the back of her mind from now on, but she'll avoid the topic of Nathan all together if it means Viatorus is more comfortable speaking to her.

((OOC: For reference, this is (generally) Nathan's appearance.))

His fingers drum in a slow wave against his mug and he briefly chews on the inside of his lip while he listens. Truth be told, he doesn't know how to feel about it. It's surely a compliment, though, which is nice, so his smile stays in place as he shrugs.

"It's alright. I've been told I look like people before. Mostly... Mostly my father and his father, though. I know that's different."

She can sense his hesitation, but the fact that he doesn't get upset by her admission gets a relieved sigh. Slowly, she looks back up at him with a small smile. So different from what she'd been expecting... But then, she was half expecting a Nathan-like answer. Which she shouldn't be. Sigh. This is more complicated that she would like to admit.

"Looking like a parent is, usually, to be expected," she points out. "Though how you take it depends on how you view your family, which... I'm guessing means you're not terribly excited about being told you look like your father?" It's all speculation based on what he wasn't saying before about his family, and she could be completely wrong, which is why she's asking.

The smile that tugs at his lips is awkward, polite. He shrugs and his thumbs fidget against the mug handle. "It's good, I guess. I don't really think about it much. Except when people talk about me having my grandfather's eyes. Durants don't often have green eyes, so they mention it a lot."

It feels strange to be talking about how he looks, and he'd rather not think about his knobbly features and gangly form. He's eager to turn it away from himself. "You... Do you look like your mother?"

All signs point to a quiet discomfort on his part. That's definitely not her intention here. Still, she can understand overly enthusiastic relatives and acquaintances - she's had her fair share of those over the years. "But surely green eyes aren't uncommon among the whole of the world? It seems like an odd thing to comment on all the time."

The question gets a wry smile from her. "Actually, I take after my father. My mother's hair is of a lighter tone than mine, her eyes brown, and her face more round than mine." She pauses then adds, "I actually... have a portrait of them now. In my room, at the inn. I didn't point it out before, since we were otherwise occupied, but it's there. Steve... he took the time to work with me on it, worked with me to draw from my memory." She smiles softly. "It was very sweet of him, and it turned out, well, perfect." Her happiness at the thought is undeniable. To actually see her family again, in one form another, is something she takes great solace in.

Talking about his own family makes him nervous, rather than sad like it makes Amelia. Especially when people are becoming increasingly prone to criticising them. For once he'd like to not have a friend pre-emptively dislike his family. "No, a-and they don't comment on it all the time. When they comment on me, though, it's... it's usually what they mention."

"I did see it. I had a little look. I thought it might help in the dream, and it did. It's very impressive. Doubly so since it was drawn from your memory and not his. To have something of them so well done must be nice."

Her head tilts slightly in confusion as she takes in his words. "You have so much more to offer the multiverse than that," she notes with a smile. "You do such amazing and beautiful things."

She can't help but smile more. "I've slept a lot better with them watching over me," she agrees. Suddenly, she blushes again. "Not to say that I believe they're suddenly there or anything, I just... feel better seeing them all the time, having something to remind me that they're all capable people who can take care of themselves." That didn't come out right either. That blush becomes even more pronounced. "I mean... I just... really like it." There's something on the floor that's super interesting now. Yup.

This time it's his cheeks going bright red. He ducks his head and clears his throat. What fidgeting he had been doing is only going to increase. "Oh. Thank you. That's... That's really too kind of you to say. Um... I guess, in my family, 'amazing' is sort of... normal."

Blushing doesn't bother him. He doesn't really notice it, even. He does notice her halting and hesitating. Feelings are things he picks up on rather quickly, and her awkwardness is definitely one of them. "It's... It's alright. I know what you mean. Anyone would feel the same. It's like... like being able to see them every day again. Being able to take comfort in seeing them safe and strong."

"Doesn't make you any less amazing to those of us outside your family," she points out with a smile. Making him blush wasn't a part of her plan, but it's better than making him feel uncomfortable about his family.

She slowly looks up at him and smiles. The fact that he understands what she's trying to say despite her awkward phrasing is nice. "Just like that," she agrees. "I didn't have another reminder of them from home like I do with..." She hesitates for a moment continuing. "Like I do with Nathan. Anything I have that can possibly make me feel closer or more connected to those I left back home is nice." The blush on her cheeks won't go away, but she's managing to get her words out with too much trouble this time."

"Magic... Magic is a wonderful thing. It does beautiful things," he agrees, happy, but shy and unsure how to take the compliment. "I'm... I'm glad you like what you've seen."

When she smiles, he smiles back in an attempt to encourage her. It's bad enough that he's awkward and nervous. He'd like to do everything he can not to make Amelia the same. "Would it... Would it help if you talked about them? I've never been away from my family except when I come here. One of them is always with me back home. But I expect you've been away from your family a lot."

"I never thought I'd believe in magic, much less like it. But what I've seen, and what you've shown me, suggests that it's not all as bad as I feared. I'm actually rather glad of that." She'd like it more if it could help her get home, but no need to bring that up. It's not Viatorus' fault her world has sealed itself off from the Nexus.

"I... suppose I could talk about them. I just never want to focus on them, because I don't want to bore anyone with stories about people they'll never meet." When someone's asked, she's been happy to explain things about them, but aside from that she avoids the subject. Steve has been the one exception, and even that conversation was for the purpose of getting the portrait of them made. "This is the first time I've spent any real time away from them. Being away for a few days or weeks is nothing compared to the several months I've been here. It's why I wanted the portrait - I didn't want to forget what they looked like."

"It's not," he tells her earnestly, but feels the need to add, "As long as it's in good hands."

"I promise you won't bore me. I've stayed in my study and read for days and days about old relatives so distantly related they might as well have been a family from another continent. You can talk to me about them all you like. I know how important family is."

"It's hard for me to know whose hands to trust, given my limited experience with magic. I trust you, though." She smiles softly at him, and hopes she isn't going too far with her compliments. There hasn't been a single dishonest word out of her mouth about all this.

"Really? Thank you." Her shoulders relax as she sits up a bit and folds her hands in her lap. If she's going to talk about her family, then she wants to be more comfortable as she does so.

"My family is everything to me. Everything I've done - good and bad - has been to accomplish a goal for them. I did some terrible things, told many lies to myself and others, but in the end, I got what I wanted. I raised their place in society, made the family lesser nobles as opposed to simple merchants. I wanted them to live comfortably and until I met Nathan and a few other friends back home, I intended to be their silent guardian for the rest of my life. I... faltered in that desire for a while before I ended up here. Now a part of me wishes I'd just done it so I could have continued being there for them rather than stuck so far away." Her smile takes on a sad hint again. "Sometimes I think that, in spite of how much I've grown since coming here, I'd rather be the terrible person I was to be close to them again. I'd die a thousand times over, live a total lie, and have nothing but nightmares in the Eternal Dream if it meant I could protect them from anything sour in life." She truly believes she'll have nothing but nightmares in the afterlife already, but if she could guarantee it for their safety and wellbeing, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Edited 2016-01-16 02:29 (UTC)

His smile goes wide, though he ducks his head bashfully. "Thank you."

It's nice to see her relax properly for once. Not that he doesn't understand it. Even around his own family, it's difficult for him to relax. "But... I mean... It's not so bad that you wanted something for yourself. Maybe... Maybe this is fate's way of giving you time for yourself. Rest. Though I know it mustn't feel like it."

"I'm not very good at resting," she admits with a sigh. "I had everything I wanted for them, didn't have to keep up with the life I'd been leading separate from them, but I did anyway. It's... why I ended up here. I didn't want to rest, to look at myself and what I really needed - let alone wanted - from life. So I stuck to the streets, taking less than reputable jobs doing things I was good at, to keep myself distracted. I was out on a job when I ran into the Nexus." The tea cup in front of her is turning out to be very interesting. There's so much running through her mind and she doesn't want Viatorus to think any of the pent up anger she feels is directed at him.

"It was a stupid thing to do. I had accepted the fate of living alone years before, but when faced with actually living that life, I decided to ignore the decision and continue doing unnecessary things. Now I have no idea if all the plans I laid out worked or if the family is even faring well." Another sigh as she shakes her head in shame. "Is my family financially stable? Are all those workers I trained doing their jobs so my parents don't have to? Is my scholar brother still studying? Is my little sister getting the absolute best care possible? What of my brother and his wife - has my new niece or nephew been born? Are their other children doing well?" Her hands grip the fabric of her pants tightly. "So many questions and I'll have none of them answered. Not here. And I... have to learn to live with that."

It's not Viatorus' fault that she's still here. It's not Schön's fault and it's not Naugus' fault. It is hers and hers alone. She only hope he sees it that way, too, because the last thing she wants is him feeling responsible for something she did to herself.

He leans forward a little, earnest in his response. "You can't blame yourself for coming here. How could you have known? How could anyone have known? You might have still ended up here even if you had stayed at home living a quiet life."

"They trusted you to be there when they needed you, and they trusted everything would work out. Now it's your turn to trust them." He tries to catch her eye and smile encouragingly. "Amelia, I'm sure they're fine. And worrying won't help them. They'd want you to be happy and safe."

"They didn't know what I was doing. Until the day I came home with the papers, they had no idea I wanted them to be noble." She carefully wraps her arms around herself before looking up at him. His smile is appreciated, but it doesn't lighten her mood at all. "I'm sure you're right, but I can't stop worrying. Every day I'm here is just a little longer and my hope wanes a bit more. Holding on to them is easier with the portrait, but it hurts not knowing what's going on back home."

Her gaze drops back down to the tea cup in front of her as she sighs. "I hope this Winter holds out until I'm able to get home. The last thing I want is to greet a Spring without them." There's a bitter edge to her voice as she says that. Spring was always her favorite season back home. Now it's the last thing she wants to see come around.

"Amelia, they're your family. You're related to them. I'm sure they're more than capable." Quietly, he tries comforting her a different way. "I'd bet the worst that is happening is that they're missing you."

"Oh don't say that. Spring is wonderful." He hesitates and, carefully, he offers, "Maybe we could help make it better for you. All your friends in the Nexus. We could help make it feel more like home. Or more enjoyable, at least."

"Spring is wonderful," she agrees quietly. At least, when she was home it was. "But I... I can't face it without them. I can't celebrate the coming of Spring without them. I can't... I can't--"

Her hands fly to her face as she tries in vain to hide the tears that are suddenly making their way down her cheeks. This is certainly not what she wants to be doing right now. He's being so kind and comforting, he's trying to raise her spirits by talking about her family. She certainly managed to sink that ship quickly.

It takes a minute, but she does get enough control to finish her thought for him in a very soft, somber tone.

"I can't face the coming of Spring when it means I have to spend my birthday alone." Finally, the heart of the matter.

The tears turn his own expression into one of dismay. He shuffles closer, but doesn't quite reach for her, eager as he is to comfort her.

"You don't have to," he says quickly. "Tell me when it is. Tell me what you used to do. What you'd love to do. I'll throw you a party. It will be lots of fun."

"No, no you don't understand," she says plaintively. "I don't want to celebrate with anyone else. I want to celebrate with them. If I can't be with them when Spring comes then I'd rather live in Winter."

It's a ridiculous, childish thought - and one she hasn't shared with anyone until now.

She sighs and slowly lowers her hands from her face after one last wipe of her eyes. There's still tears there, but she can't do anything to stop them at this point. "It's not that I think celebrating with you would be bad. I just... I wanted this one tradition from my home to stay with me. My birthday... it was how I always knew that Spring had come. The whole family would come together, just to be together, and that's all I ever wanted." She wipes at her eyes again in vain before looking up at him. "Last year was different. We held a huge party to celebrate the family becoming noble. But it... didn't end the way I wanted it to." The sigh that escapes her is soft and sad. If he remembers anything of her dream, he'll have some understanding of what she's talking about.

When she speaks again, her voice is barely above a whisper. "I'd just rather not have a birthday than deal with the pain of not having my family with me that day. And I... I'd rather not have my heart broken twice in a row on my birthday."

Edited (adding more details) 2016-01-20 17:05 (UTC)

The strong protest throws him off. He flinches back slightly, withdrawing and looking extremely apologetic. Rubbing the back of his neck, he shrugs and shakes his head. "I... I'm sure there's something we can do... Offer a distraction maybe. A day out, doing something else. Not... Not celebrating. Not if you don't want to. But... something.""

Why does she do this? Why does she push so hard on him every time he tries to help? It's reflex, a habit she knows she has and can't break. She's been trying so hard to break it, but her lack of success is plainly obvious.

"A distraction would be nice." She's trying to focus on what he's saying, not what she's feeling. Work through things, not push them aside. "I was honestly planning on hiding away for the day, not seeing anyone if I could help it. But a distraction of some kind would be welcome." There's no need to mention that she was debating setting up the target dummies she purchased and railing on them with her blades until she physically couldn't anymore. No, doing something with him, or any of her friends, would be better than not taking care of herself.

"I love dreams, and I love thinking, but sometimes hiding away inside isn't the best thing to do," he tells her softly. After a second of silence, he feels he can move onto the more fun thought of planning something. "What... What would you like to do? Would you like to be with a few friends? Or just one? Maybe two? Would you like to go for a walk, o-or see a film? Explore, o-or go shopping, or...?"

"I know." He's right, of course, but she knew that from the start. Making the choice to do what's right versus what's easy is still difficult, but with his encouragement, it doesn't seem quite as daunting.

"I don't want to do anything big, and I don't really have many friends here, so I would be okay with all of them coming." Maybe he doesn't realize it, but she can still count on one hand the number of people she considers to be her friends. There's still a huge gap between acquaintance and friend for her. "I... don't know what I would want to do though. I've done some exploring and I have no need of more things." Clearly no one's explained 'window shopping' to her yet. She gives him a curious look as she considers all of this suggestions. "What's a film?"

He doesn't realise it. Surely Amelia, like Verity, is so well loved, and so confident, she must have dozens of friends by now.

"A movie. A..." His eyes flicker back and forth as he thinks of the simplest explanation. "A recording. Like theatre, only captured and recorded as a moving image. I can show you an example, if you'd like."

Amelia, unlike Verity, doesn't make the same effort to have friends. She's met plenty of people, but she calls very few of them friends.

It takes a minute, but she makes the connection to things she's heard in the Nexus. "Oh, the moving pictures. I've heard of them, but I've never seen one. What are they about? Don't you have to go some place to watch them? Or can you watch them wherever you'd like?" Getting onto a subject that makes her curious is good - it helps distract her from the sadness. It's obviously still there, but her tears are drying up, which in itself is progress.

Tears are something Viatorus has had more experience with than he'd like to admit. He, more than anyone, knows the embarrassment they bring with them. Distractions, and moving on swiftly? That's all he knows to offer, since he finds it so hard to offer physical comfort. "There are lots of devices that play them, but some are better to watch on than others. New ones come out in cinemas, with screens bigger than my wall. But mostly people watch them on televisions, which are shaped like... like large paintings, landscapes."

He's eager to encourage the curiosity, the questions. "And they can be about all kinds of things. Real life, but mostly fiction. Stories. Romance, comedy, science-fiction, fantasy... Heroes and villains. A lot like theatre, really."

As someone who is better at pushing aside her feelings than confronting them, Amelia much prefers the distractions to the comfort. The tears are an uncomfortable thing, but they pass quickly enough when she's fully distracted. His explanation of televisions gets a very small laugh - and an a accompanying small smile. "I've been to a version of Earth before, you know, so I've seen a television. They were practically everywhere as I walked around." There's some light teasing in there, but it's nice that he cares enough to explain so much without her asking.

The curiosity, once turned on, is hard to back down from. "Romance and comedy I understand - those seem to be a universal constant no matter which world you're from. But I don't understand what fantasy or science-fiction are. Heroes and villains, sure, but they're only characters in a story. So what kind of a story does a fantasy or science-fiction tell?"

Bouncing in his seat as he adjusts his position, he thinks of how to describe things he hasn't read as much about as he'd like. "Science fiction is about imaginary tales based around science. Sometimes it's big things like stories about people living in space and aliens. Sometimes it's small like... like if everyone had machines to help them live incredibly long lives."

"Fantasy is... is usually based around magic. Around magical creatures and people. Sometimes it's in an entirely make believe world, with strange and wonderful creatures, civilisations, magic... Like science-fiction, some stories seem very normal but for a small difference. People being able to do bits of magic, or... or magical creatures being real."

His excitement earns another small smile. "So, you're saying this place is both a science-fiction and a fantasy story?" She laughs softly before explaining. "This place has so many machines that I could have never dreamed of in my world. So many things to help people live their lives more efficiently and, sometimes, simply better than ways that the people of my world live theirs. On top of that, there's real, honest magic here. Some subtle, some overt, and all far beyond the scope of anything told of in the stories of my world."

Perhaps her friend Nathan would have come up with a few of the machines she's seen, given enough time and inspiration, but she tries to dismiss that thought as quickly as it comes on. Now that he's gotten her spirits up, the last thing Amelia wants is to see Viatorus frown at her again. "So, now that I know what kinds of films there are to see, what's your favorite kind? And are there any you recommend we watch for an introduction?"

"Yes, I guess it is."

He beams when she laughs. It's so good to see after her tears. He'd much rather she was happy than upset and the feeling of joy runs through him at being able to make that change. Just like turning a nightmare into a dream.

"I like old movies. Fantasy and romance are my favourites... I like the old movies about Greek heroes and Romans. We could watch one of those and see how you enjoy it? You can always tell me if you don't like it and we can stop it."

Smiling and laughing feels so much better than the tears. Considering how many times she's cried in front of him now, she can only hope he doesn't think he's the cause of said tears. There are still many things she has to work through and he's one of those few people she feels comfortable opening up to about them.

"That sounds like a wonderful plan." She vaguely knows who the Greeks and Romans are, but she figures she can read up on them later. Reading is her favorite pastime around the Nexus, after all. "When should we do this? Do I need to bring anything?"

"We can do it whenever you like. I don't have much going on these days..." And it would be nice to have a distraction from the whole fiasco with Verity and how he's been an awful friend...

"You don't need to bring anything. I'll have wine and tea, and I can get popcorn and snacks... I'll pick out a few movies and we can choose one."

"Neither do I," she admits with a small shrug. "If you have something here, we could always watch it now. Otherwise... sometime next week?"

Oh, but there's a word she doesn't know again. "What's popcorn? And... can we have chocolates while we watch the movie?" She may not have tried many new foods in the Nexus, but she's learned she's quite the fan of chocolate. This seems like an excellent excuse to try a few new varieties.

"I'll choose a few movies and then next week we can decide on one and watch it." The chocolate comment gets a smile out of him before he can help himself. "Popcorn is popped corn, it's... well, you'll see. And of course I'll have chocolates. We'll make an evening of it, trying different chocolates and watching movies."

She smiles in return. "That sounds perfect. The time, I mean." There's no denying that blush on her cheeks. "Do you want to come find me at the inn when you're ready, or should I come here?" It's easy to see that she's relaxing again, given the way she turns toward him with that smile of hers.

"Popped... corn. Huh." When did someone come up with that? What a curious thing. "Are there any chocolates you like in particular that I should look for? Or would a sampler box of truffles be agreeable?" She's always looking for suggestions for new chocolates to try and if they happen to be his favorites? That's just an added bonus.

"I can come and find you. I might... maybe, if you're alright with it, invite you back to my home in my world. I have a good television for watching movies there."

"I don't mind. Truffles are lovely! I'll bring some pralines too, and some Belgian chocolates..." He beams and shakes his head. "I'm getting carried away."

Wait. Did he just...

Yeah. He totally did.

Her smile brightens significantly at the thought of being able to see his world. "I would love that."

She laughs softly at his enthusiasm. "From what I've heard, one can never have too many chocolate options available at once. If we have a large number available, it simply means we have to take our time to enjoy them all. If that means multiple movies over multiple days... well, I think we'll manage." She adds a wink to make sure the teasing is understood. Honestly, though, she couldn't think of a better way to spend an evening or two than trying lots of chocolates with her friend.

"Good," he chirps happily.

"I think we will too." Though he's smiling, he looks around, but of course there's no clock, so he settles on Amelia again. "I should let you get on your way. I'll start thinking about films and chocolates and I'll see you next week."

Amelia doesn't need to check her pocket watch to know he's right, but she does so anyway. "It is getting rather late," she murmurs. "I should let you get back to your work for the night, and debate which truffles to bring." Slowly, she stands and pulls her cloak back on. Leaving him to go back to an empty room is a truly sad thought, but all nights must end, even this one.

"Whenever you're ready, come and find me. I'll be waiting." There's a slightly sad hint to that smile she gives him, but she hopes he won't mind. Or notice, for that matter. It's such a small lie, what does it matter between friends?

He walks her to the door, oblivious to sad thoughts for the moment, and smiling from the pleasant plans ahead of them. It's the first truly good thing to happen to him in a while.

"I won't keep you long. It's been far too long since I've watched a film. I'm looking forward to it already." He makes sure to be a gentleman and open the door for her, still beaming as he wishes her goodnight.

It's best he doesn't notice, because she's all smiles when he opens the door for her. And then, suddenly, inexplicably, she leans up and places a soft kiss on his cheek. It's an almost intimate thing for her, to be so close to someone - both physically and emotionally - but she finds she can't not do this. Her cheeks are rosy as she pulls back and offers him another smile and a whispered "goodnight" before she disappears turns to disappear into the night.

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A friendly visit [Tagging Viatorus]

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