rogueinladysclothing | A friendly visit [Tagging Viatorus]

Current Mood: devious

Entry tags:

A friendly visit [Tagging Viatorus]

It hadn't been her intention to stay away this long. In truth, Amelia had intended to see Viatorus again right after Christmas, to thank him for his gift and make sure he wasn't in trouble for accepting hers. But after being cursed and then putting Steve through hell as she came down from it, she needed a few days to herself. Now, however, she feels fine. Now she wants to make good on her plans to see her friend again.

As she makes her way toward Viatorus' office, she realizes that, by postponing her plans, she's forgotten to make an appointment. Again. Normally, she'd consider pushing her way in as she did last time. Given her desire to not cause a scene, though, other measures need to be taken. Time for Amelia to exercise some of her more... questionable talents. It's early enough in the day to pencil in a late afternoon appointment, right?

When the office comes into view, so does Lyall. Amelia waits in the shadows of a nearby alley until the guard is distracted by some passerby before walking up and palming his scheduling notebook from a pouch on his belt. Once she has that, it's a simple matter of passably forging an appointment for herself in his handwriting and returning the notebook to his pouch when she's done - all in the span of about 60 seconds. That part of her plan complete, she heads off to a nearby cafe for a light snack and some tea to fill the time before her "scheduled" appointment.

About five minutes before said appointment, Amelia appears at the door to the office. Lyall doesn't exactly scowl at her, but his displeasure at seeing her is obvious, even if her lack of armor over her usual linen clothing and corset puts him a bit more at ease with her today. The rogue is completely undaunted as she steps up to him with a bright smile on her face. "I'm here to see Viatorus," she says in an equally bright tone. "But no need to worry today, friend, I have an appointment this time."

Lyall crosses his arms in front of his chest and rolls his eyes at her. "You most certainly do not." His voice rumbles from deep within his chest, and would likely scare off most people. Sadly for him, Amelia is not most people.

"Please check your appointment ledger - I have an appointment with Viatorus this afternoon." There's a certain smugness in her eyes that doesn't match her cheery tone of voice, but she can't quite help it on this one.

Begrudgingly, Lyall grabs his appointment book and opens it, his eyes widening when he sees an appointment listed for the current hour. When did that get there? He's certain he didn't put that in, but... there it is, in his handwriting and everything. He looks up at her with a look that is equally surprised and upset. "Amelia Ronsam, I presume?"

How she manages to keep smiling when she wants to be grinning is anyone's guess. "Yes. I'm not too early, am I? I can wait out here if necessary." It's a good thing Lyall works for Viatorus, or she might be getting her friend in some serious trouble right now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

She chuckles softly. "I don't think a lot of us are used to having as many friends as we've found here in the Nexus. It's a nice change of pace, though, isn't it?"

Her face softens, but her curiosity remains. After taking a sip of her tea, she sets her cup aside and turns toward him a bit more. "If it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to explain it, but I'm curious to know how you see it." Learning things through the eyes of someone who's got such a unique view of the world is always enlightening, but she's not going to push if he gets uncomfortable. The last thing she wants is to push him away now that they've started speaking again.

He nods in agreement, smiling. "It is."

Eyes flickering back into focus, he smiles softly, reassuringly. "I'm sorry. It's... It's just I know that there are people who don't believe in the gods, or any gods, and they think we're all mad, Christian and pagan alike. They... They think that people back then were superstitious and didn't understand the world. That the Christian 'God' was created to explain natural phenomenon. That all gods were."

Sitting back, he rubs the back of his neck and shrugs. "But the things I've seen... The gods I know aren't made up. They're divine and unknowable, but they're real. The... The problem is that in history people have used their gods as an excuse to take what they want. They claim divine right so that they can ignore everyone else. It gives them power. Eventually the more important figures and cultures became Christian and that has become one of the main five religions. That's why it's so influential."

His reverence for the gods he speaks of is obvious, but it's not something she can fully relate to. With how little she's seen, she doesn't believe in them. That could change, but for now, she believes only in what she's seen. Magic has been a big step for her - the gods can wait a little longer.

"People always look for a reason to cause trouble," she notes softly. "Gods may not exist in my world, and we may not have magic, but there are still plenty of reasons for people to claim superiority over one another." Her tea cup is reclaimed so she can take a quick sip before continuing. "I think I understand, at least a little, why there are so many Christian things here. So many of the worlds attached to this place are versions of Earth - it's completely understandable that many of these people would hold and bring over these Christian beliefs when they came here. And I guess it stands to reason that if it's this prevalent here in the Nexus, it would be many more times so on the version of Earth these people came from."

A thought occurs to her and she tilts her head slightly before asking, "Does it color people's dreams as well? Their religious beliefs, I mean. Obviously personal experiences do, so I wonder also if things people believe but don't know also would." It might seem like an odd question, but considering her culture's beliefs about dreams and the afterlife, it's something she feels inclined to ask.

Amelia's musings get gentle nodding from the scholar as he silently agrees with her. It's good to hear her getting to grips with a culture that is so alien to her. Truth be told, parts of it are alien to him too. Still, he's comfortable here, in this exchange of information given and knowledge extracted.

He's in the middle of a sip of tea when she asks about dreams. In a hurry to answer, he narrowly avoids choking as he swallows and nods. "Yes. It all does. Everything about who a person is, and their experiences. Your beliefs are part of who you are, why you believe them too. Then there's all the symbolism that comes with religious beliefs."

It's really hard for her to stifle a laugh when taking in his eagerness. She ends up hiding behind her tea cup until he's regained his composure so as not to make him feel like she's laughing at him ~~like it could be any other way at this point~~. She nods along and waits a moment after he finishes his explanation before asking, "What kind of symbolism do you mean? I'm afraid I don't know enough about Christian beliefs to fully understand."

And then, as an afterthought, "If dreams are the culmination of everything we are as people, then what do my dreams say about me?" This is a much more personal question, but she isn't intimidated by that. After inviting him in so closely, discussing what he saw in her dreams doesn't feel like something that's any more intimate or private. Besides, they're friends - if they can't talk about something they shared, what can they talk about?

"That depends on the dreamer, but... Christianity emphasises the guilt of mankind. A lot of people's fear and guilt appears with Christian values and imagery." It's the best explanation he can give without going into specifics.

Viatorus thinks as he sips his tea and lifts a shoulder in a half shrug. "Not much more than you've told me. You're fixed on your home, your family and friends. Your mind is eager to resolve the fears you have around them, around being apart from them. Your psyche is trying to help you resolve those issues. It's trying to tell you something. But... I changed the dream. So I can only comment on what happened before that."

He shuffles a little closer and leans forward. "Was it alright? Your dream? It didn't turn sour, did it? Was it good? Did you feel rested afterwards?"

"Guilt of mankind?" That's not a phrase she's familiar with at all. "I don't understand - what would all of mankind be guilty of? Is it something from their past or some religious belief again?"

Her smile becomes the slightest bit sad when he speaks of her family, but she nods all the same. Before she answers, she finishes her tea and sets aside her cup. With a small sigh, she leans forward, resting her forearms on her legs. "That follows along with what I remember, but I honestly can't recall any particulars of what went on. It felt... familiar, at first, like the dreams I'm used to having. Loneliness, regret, emptiness." She clasps her hands in front of her and looks up at him with curious eyes. "But then it was different, as if something happened that made all of the pain and emptiness fade away. I was... happy. I feel like... I got closer to someone, got to do something I've been wanting to for a while. I just wish I could remember what happened."

Slowly, she smiles at him. "Whatever it was, it was beautiful, and I'm so thankful for the gift."

"Sin. I don't understand it fully, but the Christian God seems to consider a lot of things as sinful and wrong. Something worth punishing or something they should seek repentance for."

Their situations might be difference, but he understands the importance of family. Sad smiles are going to be inevitable for the foreseeable future, but as long as they can talk about beautiful things at the same time. She has his full attention and he smiles when she does. "I'm glad. You seemed happy when I left you with your friend."

"Oh." Sin is a topic she knows a lot about. It's usually a touchy subject for her as well, considering how stained - both literally and metaphorically - her hands are. Still, her curiosity is getting the best of her. "I understand what sin is, but for all of mankind to be full of it... is their very existence a sin? At least when viewed through Christian beliefs?"

Smiles are for the best when they're talking about family, even if family causes some annoyances. "Friend?" As she looks up at him again, she briefly sees another face over his. The lightest pink color touches her cheeks. How did she never notice before how similar the two of them looked? They're so different in personality, but...

She smiles in spite of herself and grips her hands together tighter, lest she reach out and touch his face to make sure it's not the one she's been longing to return home to. "The two of you... you look remarkably similar. I can't believe I didn't notice until now." She laughs, a small, ironic kind of sound. "You and Nathan couldn't be more different if you tried, but you look like you could be brothers." Life is funny, sometimes, and this is one of those times that Amelia isn't certain if she's okay with that - if only because she's now extremely confused.

"I don't know. I never did study much of it. The way they see the world..." He shakes his head. "It doesn't make sense to me."

Luckily, he doesn't take note of the pink in her cheeks, being too distracted by the stretching smile which he returns with a small, confused tilt of his head a furrowing of his brow. That confusion is quickly cleared up and he blinks, surprised at the answer. He's not sure how to take it, so he smiles. "Oh. Thank you... I think. I mean, that's... that's not uncomfortable for you, is it?"

"It doesn't sound like it makes a lot of sense from an outside perspective either," she agrees. Seems people are strange no matter what world they're from. All that varies is the how.

His question causes her cheeks to become a little more darkly colored. "I... don't know." It's an honest answer, if an unhelpful one. "I honestly hadn't thought about it until now. As I said, the two of you are so different that I just... never put the pieces together." She shrugs lightly, her gaze falling to the empty tea cup in front of her. "If I'm being completely honest, it's actually kind of comforting. A small something that's more familiar than the rest of this place. Perhaps it's not the kind of comfort I should be looking for, but I'm grateful for it either way."

A small sigh escapes her and her shoulder slump forward. "Sorry. This... idea of the two of you being alike - it was a lot to drop on you without having thought through it. If I'm making you uncomfortable, let me know and I won't mention it again." It'll still be in the back of her mind from now on, but she'll avoid the topic of Nathan all together if it means Viatorus is more comfortable speaking to her.

((OOC: For reference, this is (generally) Nathan's appearance.))

His fingers drum in a slow wave against his mug and he briefly chews on the inside of his lip while he listens. Truth be told, he doesn't know how to feel about it. It's surely a compliment, though, which is nice, so his smile stays in place as he shrugs.

"It's alright. I've been told I look like people before. Mostly... Mostly my father and his father, though. I know that's different."

She can sense his hesitation, but the fact that he doesn't get upset by her admission gets a relieved sigh. Slowly, she looks back up at him with a small smile. So different from what she'd been expecting... But then, she was half expecting a Nathan-like answer. Which she shouldn't be. Sigh. This is more complicated that she would like to admit.

"Looking like a parent is, usually, to be expected," she points out. "Though how you take it depends on how you view your family, which... I'm guessing means you're not terribly excited about being told you look like your father?" It's all speculation based on what he wasn't saying before about his family, and she could be completely wrong, which is why she's asking.

The smile that tugs at his lips is awkward, polite. He shrugs and his thumbs fidget against the mug handle. "It's good, I guess. I don't really think about it much. Except when people talk about me having my grandfather's eyes. Durants don't often have green eyes, so they mention it a lot."

It feels strange to be talking about how he looks, and he'd rather not think about his knobbly features and gangly form. He's eager to turn it away from himself. "You... Do you look like your mother?"

All signs point to a quiet discomfort on his part. That's definitely not her intention here. Still, she can understand overly enthusiastic relatives and acquaintances - she's had her fair share of those over the years. "But surely green eyes aren't uncommon among the whole of the world? It seems like an odd thing to comment on all the time."

The question gets a wry smile from her. "Actually, I take after my father. My mother's hair is of a lighter tone than mine, her eyes brown, and her face more round than mine." She pauses then adds, "I actually... have a portrait of them now. In my room, at the inn. I didn't point it out before, since we were otherwise occupied, but it's there. Steve... he took the time to work with me on it, worked with me to draw from my memory." She smiles softly. "It was very sweet of him, and it turned out, well, perfect." Her happiness at the thought is undeniable. To actually see her family again, in one form another, is something she takes great solace in.

Talking about his own family makes him nervous, rather than sad like it makes Amelia. Especially when people are becoming increasingly prone to criticising them. For once he'd like to not have a friend pre-emptively dislike his family. "No, a-and they don't comment on it all the time. When they comment on me, though, it's... it's usually what they mention."

"I did see it. I had a little look. I thought it might help in the dream, and it did. It's very impressive. Doubly so since it was drawn from your memory and not his. To have something of them so well done must be nice."

Her head tilts slightly in confusion as she takes in his words. "You have so much more to offer the multiverse than that," she notes with a smile. "You do such amazing and beautiful things."

She can't help but smile more. "I've slept a lot better with them watching over me," she agrees. Suddenly, she blushes again. "Not to say that I believe they're suddenly there or anything, I just... feel better seeing them all the time, having something to remind me that they're all capable people who can take care of themselves." That didn't come out right either. That blush becomes even more pronounced. "I mean... I just... really like it." There's something on the floor that's super interesting now. Yup.

This time it's his cheeks going bright red. He ducks his head and clears his throat. What fidgeting he had been doing is only going to increase. "Oh. Thank you. That's... That's really too kind of you to say. Um... I guess, in my family, 'amazing' is sort of... normal."

Blushing doesn't bother him. He doesn't really notice it, even. He does notice her halting and hesitating. Feelings are things he picks up on rather quickly, and her awkwardness is definitely one of them. "It's... It's alright. I know what you mean. Anyone would feel the same. It's like... like being able to see them every day again. Being able to take comfort in seeing them safe and strong."

"Doesn't make you any less amazing to those of us outside your family," she points out with a smile. Making him blush wasn't a part of her plan, but it's better than making him feel uncomfortable about his family.

She slowly looks up at him and smiles. The fact that he understands what she's trying to say despite her awkward phrasing is nice. "Just like that," she agrees. "I didn't have another reminder of them from home like I do with..." She hesitates for a moment continuing. "Like I do with Nathan. Anything I have that can possibly make me feel closer or more connected to those I left back home is nice." The blush on her cheeks won't go away, but she's managing to get her words out with too much trouble this time."

"Magic... Magic is a wonderful thing. It does beautiful things," he agrees, happy, but shy and unsure how to take the compliment. "I'm... I'm glad you like what you've seen."

When she smiles, he smiles back in an attempt to encourage her. It's bad enough that he's awkward and nervous. He'd like to do everything he can not to make Amelia the same. "Would it... Would it help if you talked about them? I've never been away from my family except when I come here. One of them is always with me back home. But I expect you've been away from your family a lot."

"I never thought I'd believe in magic, much less like it. But what I've seen, and what you've shown me, suggests that it's not all as bad as I feared. I'm actually rather glad of that." She'd like it more if it could help her get home, but no need to bring that up. It's not Viatorus' fault her world has sealed itself off from the Nexus.

"I... suppose I could talk about them. I just never want to focus on them, because I don't want to bore anyone with stories about people they'll never meet." When someone's asked, she's been happy to explain things about them, but aside from that she avoids the subject. Steve has been the one exception, and even that conversation was for the purpose of getting the portrait of them made. "This is the first time I've spent any real time away from them. Being away for a few days or weeks is nothing compared to the several months I've been here. It's why I wanted the portrait - I didn't want to forget what they looked like."

"It's not," he tells her earnestly, but feels the need to add, "As long as it's in good hands."

"I promise you won't bore me. I've stayed in my study and read for days and days about old relatives so distantly related they might as well have been a family from another continent. You can talk to me about them all you like. I know how important family is."

"It's hard for me to know whose hands to trust, given my limited experience with magic. I trust you, though." She smiles softly at him, and hopes she isn't going too far with her compliments. There hasn't been a single dishonest word out of her mouth about all this.

"Really? Thank you." Her shoulders relax as she sits up a bit and folds her hands in her lap. If she's going to talk about her family, then she wants to be more comfortable as she does so.

"My family is everything to me. Everything I've done - good and bad - has been to accomplish a goal for them. I did some terrible things, told many lies to myself and others, but in the end, I got what I wanted. I raised their place in society, made the family lesser nobles as opposed to simple merchants. I wanted them to live comfortably and until I met Nathan and a few other friends back home, I intended to be their silent guardian for the rest of my life. I... faltered in that desire for a while before I ended up here. Now a part of me wishes I'd just done it so I could have continued being there for them rather than stuck so far away." Her smile takes on a sad hint again. "Sometimes I think that, in spite of how much I've grown since coming here, I'd rather be the terrible person I was to be close to them again. I'd die a thousand times over, live a total lie, and have nothing but nightmares in the Eternal Dream if it meant I could protect them from anything sour in life." She truly believes she'll have nothing but nightmares in the afterlife already, but if she could guarantee it for their safety and wellbeing, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Edited 2016-01-16 02:29 (UTC)

His smile goes wide, though he ducks his head bashfully. "Thank you."

It's nice to see her relax properly for once. Not that he doesn't understand it. Even around his own family, it's difficult for him to relax. "But... I mean... It's not so bad that you wanted something for yourself. Maybe... Maybe this is fate's way of giving you time for yourself. Rest. Though I know it mustn't feel like it."

"I'm not very good at resting," she admits with a sigh. "I had everything I wanted for them, didn't have to keep up with the life I'd been leading separate from them, but I did anyway. It's... why I ended up here. I didn't want to rest, to look at myself and what I really needed - let alone wanted - from life. So I stuck to the streets, taking less than reputable jobs doing things I was good at, to keep myself distracted. I was out on a job when I ran into the Nexus." The tea cup in front of her is turning out to be very interesting. There's so much running through her mind and she doesn't want Viatorus to think any of the pent up anger she feels is directed at him.

"It was a stupid thing to do. I had accepted the fate of living alone years before, but when faced with actually living that life, I decided to ignore the decision and continue doing unnecessary things. Now I have no idea if all the plans I laid out worked or if the family is even faring well." Another sigh as she shakes her head in shame. "Is my family financially stable? Are all those workers I trained doing their jobs so my parents don't have to? Is my scholar brother still studying? Is my little sister getting the absolute best care possible? What of my brother and his wife - has my new niece or nephew been born? Are their other children doing well?" Her hands grip the fabric of her pants tightly. "So many questions and I'll have none of them answered. Not here. And I... have to learn to live with that."

It's not Viatorus' fault that she's still here. It's not Schön's fault and it's not Naugus' fault. It is hers and hers alone. She only hope he sees it that way, too, because the last thing she wants is him feeling responsible for something she did to herself.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject