rogueinladysclothing | Scholarly meeting [Tagging Viatorus]

There's a reason Viatorus likes this room. He's always grown up around old world grandeur so it makes him feel comfortable. As do books. Which is why he is steadily building a fortress of beautiful spines and piling notes. His papers sprawl across the table, notes and sketches as varied as the subject materials he's surrounded himself with: Portals, curses and ethics being the primary concerns.

The shuffling doesn't stir him from his work, but the question does. He turns around and, seeing a familiar face (and a distinct lack of weaponry), he smiles. "Miss Ronsam."

He takes time to finish his sentence before he sets his pen down and stands up, approaching her with a bit of fidgeting. "How are you?"

Piles of books. Stacks of paper. Nose to the grindstone. Completely oblivious to one's surroundings. And that smile? It was just like--

--like being at home with someone who wasn't there anymore.

The smile he offers is returned in kind. "Please, call me Amelia," she chides gently. No need to be so formal around her. "I am feeling well and a little more at ease when I stand in this room." Her smile broadens as she looks around. It felt like home, at least a little. "How are you ?" She slowly steps into the little room and closer to him, her eyes flicking to the many books and papers he had laid out. "Find anything interesting today?"

"I'm good. I'm well." He follows her gaze to the books and then smiles back at her. "Too much. I feel seven again. Everything's so... new. I don't think I'm going to learn a fraction of what I want to. But I can try."

Her mention of the room doesn't go unnoticed, however, and he tilts his head at her. "Is your world more like this? This... style? Or do you just like books?"

"I take it you've always had a great desire for learning?" It's an admirable trait and not one she would dare laugh at. One of her brothers is a scholar, after all.

"My world is more like this." She gestures to the room as a whole. "It's a place of sea faring ships, guards and knights in bright armor, of kings and courts." Her smile falters the slightest bit as she continues. "Perhaps it's not quite as exquisite as all of this, but the basic elements are the same. Though I admit the library in the city I'm from is far less extensive than this. I'm certain the whole library could fill up only a single wing of this place."

She tries to manage a full smile again for him, but isn't able to do so. "I hope to learn more while I'm here, though."

"I have, thank the gods." He smiles, betraying a sense of relief at the thought. "In my family you are either a scholar or the businessman and fighter who protects them. I'm neither any good at business nor fighting."

"It sounds wonderful," he tells her with a smile. "Like a story, or a dream. But I don't think all the libraries I've seen could match the size of this one. It has everything here." He points to a shelf nearby. "I found a book devoted to explaining how to grow a vegetable I'm pretty sure doesn't exist."

"Funny - I'm the businesswoman and fighter who protects everyone in my family." She chuckles softly. "Perhaps we were meant to meet, then, since I assume you're not bringing any protectors with you to this place." She's not trying to suggest anything by it, but she's been told to keep an eye out for a possible reason for having been brought to the Nexus. For the first time since she's arrived, she gets the feeling that might be true.

"Really? Let me see that..." She walks up to the shelf and pulls out the book he was pointing at. She's not really one for gardening or knowing about her vegetables, but the subject is fascinating enough that she wants to take a look. As she leafs through, an eyebrow raises. "This is... one of the strangest things I've ever seen. At least as far as vegetables go."

As if caught, he leans back, pressing the heels of his hands onto a desk and sinking into a guilty shrug. "My sister is my protector, but... I... I don't want her to come here. She might not let me come back, even if it is perfectly safe."

The strange expression that appears on her face gets a grin from him. "I'm pretty sure it talks about it shivering. I wouldn't want to eat it, anyway."

She thinks for a moment, her lips drawing into a a thin line of concentration. "Perhaps it would make you feel better if someone were to look out for you while you're here? I know someone who would be well suited to the job..." As she trails off, she flashes him a grin. "I could use the help of a scholar. I have so much I want to learn - about the technology I've seen, about the history of the more popular worlds that people come from, about... about magic. I could use a guide to determine where to start."

"Shivering?" Her expression gets more confused and she slowly places the book back onto the shelf. "I think you're right. Perhaps I don't need to spend my term learning about that, then."

It takes him far too long to understand her meaning. Understanding clicks into place only when she grins at him. His brow raises slowly at he blinks at her. "You... You'd do that?"

His eyes dart from side to side as he thinks it through and then he looks at her with hopeful uncertainty. "Would you... If she asked, would you be alright with meeting my sister? If... When she finds out about this place it would be extremely helpful to show her I wasn't being reckless. I think she'd like you, and it would bring her some peace of mind."

Of all the conditions he might've placed onto their working together, that was honestly the last she had expected. Still, it didn't seem like too much of a stretch for him to ask. She shrugged nonchalantly.

"If you think it's necessary, then I see no reason why I should fight against it. Besides, if you can help me as much as I can help you, there's no reason I shouldn't acquiesce to this request." It would be the first of many, but he didn't seem the type to ask all that much in return. She smiled softly. "Whenever you're ready, I'll meet her."

When she accepts the condition, he looks visibly relieved for a moment. The anxious fidgeting soon returns, though. "I... I must warn you... I've never taught anyone before. I'll explain as much as I can as best I can, but... I might not be very good at it."

"All I'm really asking for is direction," she points out. "I have no idea where to begin and that is my biggest challenge." She shifts her weigh to one hip and puts a hand to her chin, considering something. "Perhaps I should tell you more about my world so you can help me? Having a base of knowledge about where I am may be the key to all of this."

"Of course. Yes, that... that would be a good start." He nods and then moves back to the chair he'd been glued to for the past few hours. Gesturing to another chair, he sits down. "Please, tell me."

She pulls the chair out from the table a bit and turns it to face him before taking a seat in it. He can tell she's settling in. The gesture is a universal one for telling someone about something very important to them.

"My world - a place called Kairn - feels so small compared to this place. There are three countries: Etras, Coretica, and Ketesh. The city I live in, Masarra, is a port city in Etras. Etras and Coretica are rather large and powerful allied countries ruled by a monarchy, while Ketesh is a relatively small island nation. They're all... mostly peaceful, but something's been going on between Ketesh and Coretica. Something... that doesn't make sense. Ketesh is small and not nearly as powerful as Coretica, but they're winning battles, sinking ships without cause. It's..." She shakes her head. "Sorry, it's not important right now." There's a shadow across her face as she speaks of it. It's obviously disconcerting to her. She won't allow him a chance to ask more, though, before continuing.

"Humans, elves, dwarves, and a race called 'dragonborn' - men and women with scales for skin, tails, and the ability to spit fire - make up the peoples of Kairn. There's racism across much of the world, but in Masarra, everyone is free to do as they choose. Hell, two of my friends are successful blacksmiths and make some of the best weapons I've ever owned, and one is a dwarf and the other a dragonborn. I wouldn't trade the work they've done for me for anything." That thought gets a bit of a smile.

"Our most advanced weapons are the cannons we mount on walls or the occasional ship. Sea faring vessels have seen the most improvements in the past few generations and people still make their way across the land on horseback when they need to travel great distances. Medicine is limited to healers who work with herbs and plants and, very occasionally, a bit of alchemy. I'm afraid I don't know much about it, though. I know how to patch myself up, but that's as far as my medical knowledge goes."

Her gaze falls to the floor for a moment before moving back to his. "And then there's magic. I've heard tales, of the great wars in which wizards determined they didn't want to be pawns of the ruling class anymore. After the wars, they hid themselves away, and no one has seen one since." She looks away slightly. "At least, that's what I've been told. But some of the things I've seen... I can't be sure."

Although she wants to continue, she stops. She's certain Viatorus has questions by now and wants him to ask before she overloads him with information.

While she gets herself comfortable, he pulls over a notebook and a pen. Even when he watches her, his hand moves, constantly taking notes. Looking back over them he notes that she's covered most of the key markers of civilisation, which is convenient. He wants to ask desperately about magic, but there's a lot of other things to cover.

He flicks through the pages he's already used to try and figure out what gaps he should know about. "What about science? Do you have scientists? And religion? How important is religion? Does each race have different rulers in each country?"

"What do you mean 'science?'" It's such a broad question that she's a little in the dark. "No one in my world has the title of 'scientist.' In fact, I'm not sure the term exists in my world."

She tackles the political question next. "Each country has a ruler. Everyone within that country recognizes that person as the highest legal authority, be they human or something else." That one's easy.

"Religion is a more difficult topic." She sits back in her chair and crosses her arms in front of her chest. "In Etras and Coretica, there's no real belief about something or someone guiding their actions during life. It is believed that when people die, their spirit passes into what's called the 'Eternal Dream.' If a person is a generally 'good person' during their life, they will spend eternity dreaming of wonderful things. If they're not, then they will have an eternity of nightmares. It is important for someone to lead a good life and to leave the world a better place by your actions. There are priests that study what texts and parables there are, but most people strive only to be the best they can and do not go to any services offered by priests. Wishes for a peaceful rest, however, are common at funerals and there is some small amount of ceremony around it that many people observe. Others choose to offer their wishes in private, though, and have slightly different traditions." She pauses to let him finish his notes before she continues. "The Keteshi, however, believe something else entirely, and I'm afraid I don't have any knowledge about it. I believe they have people they call shamans that are seen as religious leaders, but I don't really know what that means for them or their religion."

"Oh." That's going to be... interesting. "Science... Science is... is the study of the world by observing and experimenting and coming to logical conclusions. It... It's how most of the things that are foreign to you were discovered. In my world, at least."

That is a simple system that he suspects requires a lot of finesse and politics to function. He decides to leave asking about it until much later.

Her description of the Eternal Dream is taken in with rapt attention. For a second he even forgets to take notes. It's how he wishes the afterlife was, though he suspects it won't be anything like that on arrival. Viatorus wonders if the Eternal Dream is a dream at all, or something simply similar to one. What would it be like to dreamwalk in her world? If it was a dream, could a walker enter it? Could he leave? What would death be like for a dreamwalker there?

Somehow he manages to pull himself from his questions and try to focus on his own. Scratching the back of his head, he hums. "But the gods... There aren't deities that are active in your world?"

She thinks about that explanation for a moment before answering. "I suppose that could apply to some of the people who live in my world. Alchemists dabble with spices, herbs, oils, and other materials to make tinctures and solutions for a variety of uses, though I know very little about them beyond what ingredients many of them come... go to my family's shops for." The distinction is made only because she is reminding herself that she's not in Masarra anymore. "There are people who invent and tinker with machines all the time as well. I... have a friend who dabbles in such things. His master was a man who made many machines and small contraptions for clients and who also dabbled with explosives." The second hesitation is less easily explained, but she'll continue on before Viatorus can ask about it.

"There are no beings called 'gods' in my world. If anyone believes in them, they are not part of the main religion that the people of my world follow and they keep to themselves on the edges of society." She pauses thoughtfully, a small frown playing at her lips. "Although, perhaps that's what the Keteshi believe in? I'm afraid I don't know."

"Alchemy, yes!" He perks up as she makes the connection. "Yes! That can be a kind of science, I think. A-And people who make machines learn about science even if they don't know that's what they do."

As someone who regularly halts and hesitates as he speaks, Viatorus is unlikely to pick up on anything strange about other people doing it.

"What about supernatural beings? Ghosts? Demons? Sea monsters?"

The excitement in his voice, in his facial expressions, when he finds common ground for 'science' makes Amelia smile. For a moment, she sees someone else excitedly telling her about his latest invention while they take a break from their accounting studies. A young man with unruly dark brown hair and the most mischievous of grins looks out at her. But the moment fades quickly, as does her smile. "It seems my world has much to learn about 'science,' then."

The mention of demons earns a small shudder. "There are monsters in my world - trolls and kobolds and a few other things like that - but they live far from the more populated towns and cities. I have no idea what ghosts are and there are no sea monsters in our world, but..." She stops, her gaze falling to her hands, which she folds neatly in her lap. "I never thought magic could possibly be real until I met the... thing I fought about a year ago. A great monster, unlike any I'd ever heard described before, that erupted from a crystal covered in strange runes. A man, whose life I ended for the crimes he committed against me and mine, tied a fuse around the crystal and lit it. The monster was..."

There's another long pause before she continues, her eyes still focused on her hands. "It stood nearly 7 feet tall. Its face looked like the helmet of an armored warrior, but it was made entirely of bone and there were holes where the eyes should have been. It had the body of a strong, fit soldier, but it was covered with bone-like armor and some kind of... red, molten ooze poured out from any wounds we inflicted. And when my friends and I killed it, it erupted in a spray of more of that same ooze." She shudders, quickly wrapping her arms around herself. "If there were any word to describe such an abomination, it would be demon."

Her dramatic account holds his focus once again. The emotion behind her words and in the physical reaction the memories bring makes him feel as if he might have been there. She has his complete and utter sympathy. True, he's never been faced with something like that before, but it sounds terrible to have to fight such a creature.

Quietly he offers, "I... I've never heard of anything like that before. Maybe... maybe some kind of golem... Was that in your city? Or had you maybe stumbled into a mage's lair?"

She grips her upper arms tightly with her hands at his last question.

"It wasn't a wizard's lair or anything like that. It was an abandoned tower, used long ago during times of war. The men who lead us there, who set that demon loose on us, they..." She can feel her chest tightening with the pain of the memories. Even though a year had passed, the pain is still fresh. "One of my friends... one of the people I travel with, the inventor... Those men kidnapped his master's daughter, a girl who was like a sister to him. He followed after them with the man who was his father in all but blood. When they found where they had taken the girl, my friend came back for me and the others. We rode as hard as we could, slept as little as possible to make good time. We rescued the girl, found her safe and relatively unharmed. But..." Her grip on her arms tightens even more. The fabric on her shirt is straining against her grip now, threatening to break. Her voice becomes hard, cold, dripping with hate as she continues. "But those men, those animals, they drugged and tortured this man, this person who had been my friend, and because of their abuse and our late arrival, he died. He died, and there was nothing we could do about it. I had to watch that boy I had met years before grow up suddenly as his father was murdered, his master and his family moved away, and he was left all alone, with nothing but his thirst for revenge to keep him company."

There are no tears in her eyes in spite of the pain. She's barely managing to breathe given the tightness in her chest, but it's as if she doesn't notice. It's as if this pain has become a part of ever day for her. As she continues, her voice lowers to a whisper, full of sorrow.

"And now that friend is gone and I don't know if I'll ever see him again."

If it wouldn't be terribly improper of him to lose his composure then he might have felt his eyes watering for her. It's a horror story. And she lived through it. There are no sentiments he can offer for that, no experience he could possibly compare to it. He feels rather lost, horrified for her and wanting to comfort her but having no idea how to.

His hand moves to touch her arm in some display of compassion, but he gets awkward halfway through and pulls it back again. Instead he deflates and watches her sadly. "I... I'm sorry. I really am. That... That's terrible, it's awful. No one should have to go through something like that."

It takes her a moment to bring herself to look at him. She watches the awkward movement of his hand and offers a sad smile in return. "No one should have to live with it. That's why I want to go back home. If... if my friend returns, then he may have information on the men who ordered this to be done. If we can find them, if we can stop them, then maybe no one else will have to suffer like he did."

Carefully, she holds a hand out for him. He had wanted to comfort her and she's giving him an open invitation to do so. "Thank you for listening. Other than those directly involved, no one else knows the full truth of what happened at that tower. I didn't even tell my family what happened when I let them know of my friend's death." Does he realize the weight of all of this? Less than a dozen people know about this. And she let herself be vulnerable around him. It's a dangerous thing to do, but she feels oddly safe around him.

"Such a terrible burden you feel you bear," he mutters vaguely. With her hand searching for his he's drawn to take it as he'd planned to; fingers curling around hers although they tremble slightly with the contact. An attempt to imitate comfort he'd received before by warmer, steadier hands with a firmer grip.

Viatorus fully understands the importance of such honesty, even if he understands it from a place where the key is in playing political and social games. Still, the mention that she didn't tell her family surprises him and it shows. "Why didn't you tell them? They probably would want to help, or at least support you."

The contact makes her smile - and for her cheeks to take on a slightly pink color. She's never comforted anyone like this or been comforted like this before. The sensation of his fingers around hers is... nice. A small smile tugs at her lips in spite of her best efforts to suppress it.

"Because it's my burden to bear," she answers softly. "If they know anything and the people who hold the leash of those first men were to find out, they'd be in terrible danger. I want them to live long, happy lives, to enjoy the freedoms and privileges I worked so hard to get for them. The less they know about how I got it for them, or about the things I do when I'm not working for the family business, the better." Ignorant people can't divulge secrets they don't know and can live in unadulterated bliss.

The smiling is nice. He tries to give her hand a small squeeze of encouragement, but it's weak enough to be nearly unnoticeable.

"Cruel men don't care," he says quietly, reciting a far off memory and then finding it strange to have his sister's cynical words coming from his lips. He looks away, frowning, and then glances back at her, wishing desperately that he didn't feel the need to say what he was about to say. "If cruel men want to hurt them, they won't care what they do or don't know. Maybe... maybe some of your family would want to help protect the family. Family... Family should work together."

It's noticed and appreciated, even if she doesn't appear to react to it.

"As true as that may be, I will not allow my family to know what I have done." She gently takes back her hand and places it on her knee. Her gaze moves to the suit of armor behind him and her face hardens. "All they need to know is that I am looking out for them, that everything I do is for them. My sins are mine alone to bear." Her hands are stained with the best of intentions. "If I return home to find things any other way than how I want, I will find those responsible and take care of them - personally."

Watching her hard stare and careful rendering of her philosophy, Viatorus realises that he's listening to a creed. A cruel, unforgiving creed. It makes him uncomfortable. Since he was young he'd always been kept from the harsh realities of life. He'd only seen them through his sister as she turned into a fierce and cynical woman. To think that Amelia is taking on a similarly dangerous role alone doesn't sit well with him. Where is the system? Where is the back up? The reinforcements to ensure that the family survives, that it thrives, even in the face of terrible things?

He doesn't know what to say, so he pulls his hand close and stays quiet, uncertain and trying not to look disapproving.

It's not an easy topic to handle and she knows it. With a sigh, she stands and begins pacing the room slowly. It takes her a few moments to regain her bearings, to keep from lashing out at him when she has no reason to do so. Viatorus has done nothing wrong and, as upset as she might be, there's no reason to call him out for his naivete about how things work in her world.

After a few minutes of uneasy silence, she speaks softly. "Is there anything else you want to know about my world? Or do you know enough to help me figure out where to begin my research to fill in the missing pieces?"

"I... I think I know enough," he says softly, trying to organise his thoughts again. "Um... Give me a moment."

He gets up and starts making his way back and forth through the shelves, seeking out books he'd seen in passing or that sat in the right section. It's nitpicky work, looking for just the right kind of books that require just the right amount of context. He doesn't want to overload her so there are only a few books in his arms when he returns. He's still flicking through the one at the top when he sets them down.

"Uh, these... these should be helpful." He lifts the book he'd been looking through. "This seems to be someone's account of entering the Nexus and understanding everything. Some things don't make sense, but it might help you a little."

"It seems as good a place to begin as any." She shrugs and gently takes the books from his arms, her hands gently making their way between his and the books before she pulls them away from his grip and into her own. "Do you mind if I read alongside you?" It's not that she doesn't have a place to go to read them, but after speaking about such terrible things in her past, she finds she'd rather be close to someone right now.

The books cover common types of worlds linked to the Nexus (with friendly glossaries at the back), one covers the more practical basics to science, and there's a history book that is more like Viatorus' world.

Viatorus hesitates, looking at the mess he's created that overlaps other desks, and then quickly sets about tidying it up. "No. Here, let me just... tidy this a little."

She lets him finish clearing off the table before she takes a seat opposite him at the table. She begins with the book on common types of worlds linked to the Nexus, figuring it might give her more ideas as to where to go next in her research. Silence falls on the room as she begins reading at a surprisingly quick speed. It's not obvious if she's skimming or just a fast reader, but she is all but flying through the pages.

After a while, she looks up across the table at Viatorus, frowning a bit. "I'm sorry, if I came across too harshly earlier. It wasn't my intention to do so."

Reading takes him to a place of comfort. Surrounding himself with books and texts to consume grounds him. Her apology comes as a bit of a surprise, and is a little disorienting when he's midway through a detailed paragraph.

Viatorus blinks at her. How to say that what she say worries him. That it needs to be fixed, sorted, so that it's safer for her... He opts to not interfere. "Oh. It's... No. It's fine. That... That wasn't easy for you to talk about."

Despite the fact that he has a natural tendency to hesitate when he speaks, the fact that he'd holding back is not lost on her. She frowns. "No, it wasn't." She pauses, taking a moment to come up with the right words before continuing. "You were upset by something before, are still upset by it now. Don't bother denying it - the way you sit, that look in your eyes, they tell me I'm right. What is it?"

It's unusual for her to be so pushy about a topic like this when she's speaking to someone she's still getting to know, but circumstances aren't what they usually are. She's in the Nexus now, for whatever reason, and she's promised to protect him. It's best if there aren't any secrets between them.

"No," he says hastily, eyes going wide. Getting called out always throws him and he stutters over protesting and reassuring. "I-I'm not! I-I'm just reading! I'm not upset. There's dust in here, and I'm distracted!"

Terrible a liar as he is, he is not falling into the trap of telling a woman she's wrong about something when she's distressed and sad.

Surprisingly, he'd be better off doing just that. Amelia is not one who likes to be shut out - or to have something not done or said to her because she's a woman. Even if the opinion is completely opposite of hers, she wants the chance to defend herself against it. On top of that, being lied to is one of the things that pisses her off most. Poor Viatorus, he has no idea what he's gotten himself into with this one.

"You're not the worst liar I've ever met, but you're one of them." Her eyes narrow at him and her lips draw into a thin line, obvious signs of her frustration. "Why do insist on lying to me? I'm here to protect you, to keep you safe while you're in the Nexus, and if you insist on lying to me, I'm going to be worse at my job. I can't focus when I'm trying to think of all of the things you could possibly be holding back from me."

Being around strong women figures has meant that he's been trained rather specifically on what to do and what not to. It just so happens that this time his sister's rules clash with the woman in front of him.

"I... I, uh... I... It... I..." He has no idea what to do so he tries sinking into his chair, as if that will help. "I-I-It doesn't matter."

They'll have to work that out, if they're going to continue to work together. Especially if she's supposed to be protecting him.

She sighs and runs a hand over her face slowly. She's unsure what's worse - dealing with her inventor friend taking everything she says out of context or Viatorus not saying anything, or at least not saying what he means. Both are not great options.

"Look, whatever it is, it's not going to stop bothering you if you ignore it. The sooner you get it out there, the sooner we can work through it and move on." She slowly looks up at him, leaning her elbow onto the table and then placing that hand under her chin, an exasperated look on her face. "Would it make it easier to tell me if you wrote it down? If I had someone hold onto the daggers laced into my boots?" ~~Stop being so oddly specific about that, Amelia, or he might ask why you're being specific.~~ "Or is there something else about me that makes you so unable to speak your mind?"

The more she pushes, the more he twitches and stammers. Pressure is not something he copes well with. Trying to figure out what the 'right' answer is begins to make his chest tighten and his stomach knot. "I-I don't know. No. I... I... It doesn't matter. It's not important. I didn't mean to make a face, I promise I'll stop."

"C-Can we go back to reading? Please?" It's a hopeful request. He likes reading. Reading is nice, calm.

She heaves a deep sigh. This isn't how she wanted this conversation to go and his reactions are only getting worse. If only she'd gone with subtlety instead of addressing the issue head on. Mental notes are made for the next time something like this comes up.

"Fine." She doesn't quite spit it out, but her frustration is obvious. She turns her attention back to the book in front of her and begins reading again at that same quick speed.

It doesn't take her long to finish the first book and move on to the second, the one covering the basics of science. This one gets a much slower read, due to the subject matter. After a short while, she stops altogether, her hands going to her temples. There's a lot to take in and the headache is beginning to set in.

Though she's clearly frustrated and it leaves some tension between them, Viatorus is happy to latch onto the small escape he's offered. It's much easier for him to dive into studying than to sort out his feelings and form them into coherent sentences.

It takes him a moment to spot her pause, however, but when he does, he hesitates. Aware that she's probably still annoyed at him, he's quiet when he suggests, "You should get some tea and go for a walk. It helps."

"I'm fine." It's an automatic response given without much thought. She quickly reaches into one of her pouches and pulls out a vial with what Viatorus will recognize as peppermint leaves in it, if he knows them by sight. When she opens the vial, the scent that fills the air will confirm that is, indeed, peppermint. She quickly removes a few leaves and begins to chew on them before putting the vial away. She realizes the oil would be better suited for the task, but with nothing to put it in, this is the next best option. Self-medication is often what Amelia runs on.

After the vial is securely back in her pouch, she focuses back on the book in front of her. Her eyes are strained as she pushes through the headache, but her stubborn nature won't let her stop halfway through something when there's a way to ignore whatever would keep her from continuing.

As someone who has spent the vast majority of his young life in dim rooms with his nose pressed against the pages of a book, Viatorus knows that this is not how a person should read. The peppermint is nice, refreshing, but it won't stop her eyes from aching.

He doesn't leave it too long before he speaks up again, albeit still quietly. "You really should go for a walk. You'll take in information better if you take breaks."

"Says the man who's been sitting in his room reading since long before I arrived," she retorts. She does take pause, covering her eyes with one hand and sighing. It was getting more and more difficult to read and a walk does sound nice...

"I'll go if you promise me two things: One, that our books won't be disturbed and two, that you'll come with me." As her hand slowly slips from her face, her gaze settles on him. If she's going to take a break, then so is he.

"I don't think you're as used to studying books as I am." It's not meant to be offensive. It's just that he spends the majority of his time researching and Amelia... Amelia had well worn boots and knives.

"I... I should keep reading." Viatorus looks around at the pile he's gathered together. "I haven't gotten through as much as I was planning..." Then he looks to her encouragingly. "But you should go. Get some fresh air and a drink."

Well worn metaphorically, perhaps, but everything Amelia owns - at least so far as she's currently wearing - is kept in immaculate condition. Someone knows it's better to keep everything sharp rather than let it fall into disrepair.

"You are impossible." With a sigh she stands and walks out, leaving Viatorus to wonder if he's said something terribly offensive or if she's just in a bad mood. Either assumption is not a bad one at this point, given how little she seems to be willing to open up to him.

The length of Amelia's absence is likely to go unnoticed by Viatorus, given his pension for losing himself in his books. If he should take note, he'll discover that she's gone for almost two hours before she returns, her face flushed and a basket over one of her arms. It seems she's been rather busy while she was out on her stroll.

Before he can say anything, she reaches into the basket and begins pulling out a precariously arranged array of snacks, arranging them on the cloth that she'd had covering the basket. There's a loaf of fresh bread, a block of cheese, two apples, two peaches, two plums, a couple of pastries she was told are called 'donuts' topped with various icings and sugars, some dried meats, and two paper cups with ~~odd~~ plastic lids on them. Once it's all arranged, she pushes one of the cups toward him.

"I didn't trust any of the names of the teas that I could find, but I bought a couple of strainers and have a variety of fresh herbs and spices with me." Carefully, she opens her own cup, revealing it's only hot water inside. "Anything you might like, I have." To prove her point, she removes a large number of vials from two of her pouches, each one containing a different type of leaves, petals, or spices. Lavender, jasmine, chamomile, peppermint, ginger, rosemary, cardamom, blackberry... For herself, Amelia mixes together peppermint, chamomile, and rosehips into her strainer before placing it into her cup of hot water. If he's intent on holing himself up in here for a long time, then she's going to make sure he takes care of himself.

It's always a safe bet that he's done something wrong, in his opinion. Try as he might to do the right thing. It's usually a pretty good bet that staying with books and working is what people approve of. Not this time, it seems. Luckily, as Amelia has noticed, Viatorus is fairly easily sucked back into consuming as much information as he can. He doesn't notice how comfortable he's getting. Or how his usually impeccable posture has morphed into that of a student craning horribly over papers.

Perhaps, then, it's for the best that Amelia comes in and starts setting up her little picnic. It seems so bizarre to Viatorus that he sits up and stares in surprise... Then dread. There's a lot of food there. He's not much of an eater. That's probably going to insult her somehow. Gods help him.

He swallows down his concerns and tries to take in the large array of tea things and food in front of him. "Uh... Th-Thank you." He watches Amelia start to sort out her own tea before hesitantly starting to choose his own.

"You're welcome." She's nothing if not helpful. He's not required to eat all of the food she brought, which should be obvious when she cuts herself a piece of the bread and begins munching on it. No, he's only required to eat something to fulfill his obligation to her. Rather unceremoniously, she takes a seat on the edge of the table. Is she trying to get a height advantage? (Yes. Yes she is.)

"Did the time help you get somewhere in your research?" she asks between bites. There appear to be more notes on all of the papers than when she left and he's quite a few pages further into the rather large book he had his nose in. She grabs one of the plums and begins to eat it as soon as the bread is finished. He may not be that hungry, but after a two hour walk about, she most certainly is.

Tea made, he pulls his cup close and turns his attention back to his notes when they're mentioned. The progress, such as it is, is neither something to proud or disappointed by. "Somewhere, yes. It's... It's slow work. I'm learning things, bit by bit. That's always a good sign."

"Anything interesting?" After finishing what she can of the plum, she sets the core aside and focuses on her tea. It's much easier to focus on drinking and eating than it is on figuring him out. He doesn't seem terribly complicated, but there's definitely a few things about him that she can't figure out. His hesitation to tell her anything, for one.

It's a habit that when the plum core is set aside Viatorus eyes it like it might be a demon in disguise. What he's actually making sure is that it doesn't go near any notes or books and make a mess. Paper is sacrosanct. Once sure it isn't going to do any harm, he takes a sip of his tea and looks back to his work.

He scratches his head and rereads the page in front of him quickly. "I've come across a few new approaches to casting certain spells. They might help me with the portals, but I need to read further and do a few more tests."

She wouldn't dare put the plum core anywhere near his papers. She may not be a scholar, but she knows the importance of keeping books and papers clean. It's hard to work on the family's books and ledgers if they're covered in a sticky residue from the remains of a piece of fruit.

"So, still nowhere." Her voice is positively deject as she says that. "Every time I think I might be closer to getting home, I find out I'm not." She sighs puts her feet on the chair she was sitting on, propping up her knees, and then leaning her elbows on her knees. "It's not your fault, but I..." She falters for the words, her head slowly falling until she's looking at the chair below her. Not having the option of going home is hurting her more than she realized.

Viatorus blinks at her repeatedly, fairly bemused by her reaction. The fact that she's longing to get home is rather forgotten in place of the fact that they are doing research and experimental magic.

Slowly, he asks, "You... You haven't done anything like this before, have you? Set a scholar or craftsman a puzzle and waited for them to solve it, I mean."

"I... what?" She looks up slowly, confused by his amusement with her question and her subsequent wallowing. It takes a lot of effort to not lash out at him for it, since her instincts tell her he's not trying to make fun of her.

"Problems like this don't exist in my world. Everything is straight forward. Why would I ever give someone a puzzle like this?" True, there was one puzzle she was working on, but it was on a much larger scale and could easily be solved by interrogating the correct person.

In his defence, Viatorus is more confused than amused. The curt edge to her response ensures he isn't light hearted, however.

"Things like this take time. Progress is progress, and progress is always good. You have to be patient and remember not to get disheartened." Perhaps it's more genuinely said because he's speaking from experience, but he tries to sound encouraging. They're the kind of words that have circulated through his family time and time again so they come easily to him.

"I think I need more distractions if I'm to be patient," she says with a sigh. It's easy to forget about her worries when she's busy with something else. "The reading material will help, but it's only going to get me so far. And it can only take up so much time between jobs."

She grabs herself another piece of bread and a slice of cheese to go with it, motioning for Viatorus to do the same. Her tea is still steeping, possibly forgotten with the conversation going on. "How do normal people stay patient? How do people as detached from a normal life as me possibly keep from going crazy while waiting?" There's a thoughtful look on her face as she eats her way through the bread and cheese.

This would be so much easier if she could simply make friends like normal people.

Reluctantly, he takes a very small piece of bread and practically swallows it whole he's so eager to have his pen to hand again without risking crumbs on his books. He will, however, take more time to drink some tea.

"My normal isn't the standard normal in my world, so I'm not a good person to ask about that," he admits and amends a note. "But maybe it would help if you looked at this a different way. For every closed door there's an open one. Maybe if you looked at this as an opportunity it would help. What would you do if you'd been told, while you were home, that there was a place where anything was possible and worlds met? Where would you go? What would you seek out?"

Edited 2015-09-21 20:34 (UTC)

"Had I known this place existed and how I would end up here, I would have stayed home instead." While she lets that petulant though set in, she removes the strainer from her tea and then downs most of it in one breath.

"My life is my family. I can't protect them from here. I can't do anything from here that affects them. How am I supposed to make sure they're all right when I can't get back to them?" If he were to guess that she's never thought about what she would do for herself, he wouldn't be wrong. When you set a goal as broad and expansive as the one she has, it's impossible to ever fully accomplish it. It's easy to always have a fall back and to never leave options open for yourself.

"No. No, I mean..." He sits back and sighs, taking care to try and phrase things carefully. "If you were at home, right now, safe and sound. If you could go back any time, and you knew your family was safe. If you could just hop in here and hop back out with no time passing at all... What would you do here? Is there something you were looking for? A herb or weapon? Forgotten knowledge? A particular craftsman? What would you make of the opportunity?"

"I wasn't looking for anything," she snaps. "What part of 'my life is my family' don't you understand? My job is simple - get up, run the family business, come home, and then do what I have to at night to keep things exactly the way I like them before I sleep. There's no time for other things. I barely sleep as it is and I would much rather take what little time I have available in the day to spend with them. I don't give a damn about finding new things - what I had in my world was more than enough."

It's really not his fault that she's like this, or that her answer comes across as harshly as it does. She's simply used the vague goal of hers for so long that she can't see past it anymore.

Part of him recognises that it's not fair of her to snap at him like that, but he doesn't want to argue either. Viatorus is not the confrontational type. So he frowns and returns his attention to his books. Safe, safe books. They keep him calm.

She lets out a frustrated sigh when he pulls away, but she doesn't try to stop him. Her mind keeps telling her that it's okay to treat him the same way she treats her brothers or her shop hands at home, even when she knows it's not. Viatorus is not some headstrong kid who needs to be pushed around in order to get him to do what she wants. He's someone who needs space and time to come to terms with things on his own.

He's also too damn curious for his own good. But, perhaps, that's something the people in his world encourage. Unless you're a scholar in her world, there isn't much reason to push beyond the limits of what you already know or what you can learn from the masters of your field.

Slowly, she shifts herself back into her chair and pulls the book she was reading back out. She'll let him have his time cool off - and hope it's enough time for herself as well.

Incantations, rituals, symbols he's not sure he can replicate... All wonderful things to focus on even when he does have other thoughts circling around the back of his head. Irritating him. Eventually, he breaks the silence.

"It's inefficient," he says quietly, letting some of his frustration slip into his words. "The way you're running your life. It's inefficient."

That's... not a word she's heard used to describe her life before.

She looks over at him, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. "What makes you say that? What about my life is so inefficient?"

He turns his head to give her a strange look. "What isn't?"

Viatorus pauses. He's being sulky and rude. So he takes a second to calm himself and focus. "My... My family has a history of being attacked, murdered, caught in dangerous situations... It's happened plenty of times and over the generations a system was developed. Firstly, everyone knows the dangers of being in my family. We get told who wants to hurt us and why so that we can keep ourselves safe. Secondly, for every child that becomes a scholar, there will be another that becomes their protector. For life. Thirdly, anyone who marries into the family becomes like blood. They become a protector too. Fourthly, the bloodline first, in all things. Knowledge second, but family first."

He frowns at her. "Everyone can rely on everyone. If I go missing it's not just my sister who goes searching for me. It's every extended member of the family. We're not alone. We're never alone. Because if we're alone, we're vulnerable, we're weak, we're poor. If my sister can't protect me anymore, someone else in the family will. It works. It's efficient."

How different his world must be in order for something like that to work. How different it must be to live in a family of scholars and protectors, a family where everyone's role is known shortly after they're born. How different it must be knowing exactly what's expected of you. She envies that feeling, though she would never dare admit it.

"You have the luxury of knowing exactly who you are and what is expected of you, of having known that since birth. As firstborn, I was fairly certain I would inherit the family's business - it's traditional for that to happen. However, my first brother was hot on my heels to have it because he is competitive and with only one business and a total of four children, there is no guarantee of anything becoming yours until it is already yours. I had to prove myself the best while simultaneously helping my father figure out a path for his other children to get what tradition dictates should be mine. I had to help him make their lives better in the light while also working for it in the dark."

There's a shift in her demeanor, away from frustrated and upset to something more stoic. "When I was young, I saw how my family was treated by others. Both those above and below looked on my family with scorn, because we were successful and 'reaching upward' with the advancement of our business. It didn't matter that it wasn't true - rumors begin and they can't be stopped. Then, when my second brother wanted to become a scholar, and my little sister's health often depended on the abilities of the healers we could afford, I made a choice. I would make my family noble, stop the scorn from above, allow my brother to study with the best, get my sister the best care possible. But this was my choice, and so I did it alone. Now, they have that. I gave it to them. They are afforded luxuries they never dreamed possible before, which is exactly what I wanted. But getting them this... it dirtied my hands. I can't be noble with them. And so, above all else, my place in life is to protect them. There are safety nets in place and they have more money than they could ever possibly need because of what I did, but I can't know that they're safe unless I'm there, watching them. I can't ask someone else to do this for me. This is my burden and no one else's."

He's not going to argue with her about how he was raised. The childhood he lived had its own difficulties, but that's not something he much desires to think about. Besides which, it's not a competition and he doesn't want to turn it into one.

"I understand that you think this is the right thing to do. I know that you want to do the noble thing," he tells her earnestly. Trying to do good, to be good, he'd want to do that too. "But I've heard my sister and uncle talk. I've seen the lengths my protectors have gone to. They need each other. This is your burden because you've decided it to be. You should treat them with the respect they deserve and let them make their own choices. Maybe they could only help you by offering you some small supplies, or giving you emotional support. But it would be as much or as little as they wanted. Their choice, their free will."

"They're allowed to choose whatever they want. I only ever helped my father push my brothers in directions they told me they wanted to go. And now they're settled with wonderful, full lives ahead of them. I can't be faulted for finding a way to make their dreams possible." She knows that's not exactly what he meant, but she still feels the need to explain that much.

The rest is much harder to explain. "I'm not trying to protect them just from something they've seen before or understand. Those demons I spoke of? Those people who used them? They're not from my city, not from the world my family knows. I do have help protecting them from those things, from the friends I spoke of before. But I've built this world they live in, made things so much better, easier for them. They shouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. Why is it so wrong of me to want to keep it that way for them?"

Her hands clench into fists as they rest on her knees. This subject... it's not one she likes talking about and her discomfort is obvious. Family is all this woman has in life. It's all she's ever allowed herself to have. Being told she'd made the wrong choice stings much deeper than Viatorus is likely to realize.

Viatorus frowns, his brow twisted in concern, not anything accusatory. "That might seem like protecting them now, and it might work, for now. But sometimes the obvious answer isn't the best one. Knowledge is power and the more they know, the more their choices in life can build on what you've already given them. Isn't the best thing to help them help themselves?"

The idea of keeping important information from people is not one that sits comfortably with him. Still, he knows she means well. He can see that she means well. Her world isn't his, her problems aren't his... He has no right to dictate to her what is 'best', and yet he wants to help.

He sighs and looks away, shaking his head. "Nevermind. I'm... It... I'm overstepping my bounds, I'm sorry. It's your world, your family. You know best."

She's silent for a few minutes, staring down at the clenched fists in her lap. He means well, and she knows it. Perhaps, if things were different, she might have walked a different path, chosen a different one for herself and her family. But as it stands... there's no turning back.

"I get it," she says softly, still not looking up. "But the choice has been made. I can't go back and change it now even if I wanted. I can't get home. I can't tell them anything. I can't 'help them help themselves.' I can't make anymore choices for them or regarding them or anything. I can't... I can't protect them anymore."

Her eyes stay focused on her lap, but... The thoughts, the pain - it's all too much. Tears blur her vision and begin slowly rolling down her cheeks. She wishes she had more control, that she could get herself to stop, that she wasn't so weak. In the end, she covers her face with her hands and leans over her lap more, wishing yet again that all of this was just some terrible nightmare.

"Oh." She's crying. Oh, he feels awkward now. He knows she probably does to, because he would if he were her. He has to help... but he has no idea how to. "Uh..."

He reaches out a hand to pat her arm. It's nervous, uneasy. A trembling hand and light touch. He doesn't do contact well. It's not something he's used to.

"It's alright," he offers in a soft pleading. "It's alright. This is only a temporary set back. We'll get you back soon. They won't even notice you've gone. Trust that it will be alright, that it will all work out, and the universe will make it so. I promise."

She jumps at the contact. It's unexpected, but... it's nice. He might think she's ignoring it when she speaks, but she really is grateful for it.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." It's a saying everyone in her world knows, one she suspects everyone in every world knows. Her hands move away from her face just enough to keep her words from getting blocked by them. "Your research may fail. My world may not want me back. Something terrible could happen and I could be killed before there's any possibility of another try to open a portal. There is no guarantee that it will work even if we do get the portal open. It may go too far back or too far forward. The possibilities for failure are endless." And she has already spent hours going through them all in her head.

"I know you mean well, that you're trying, but I..." She lowers her hands and looks over at him. "I don't have any hope."

"Close your eyes, take a breath and then look around." He offers her a small smile. "Could have ever imagined, even in your wildest dreams, that a place like this existed? A place that defies everything we both know. A place filled with books of people defying the impossible and coming out of the unknown with newfound knowledge and experience."

He lets that sink in for a second before adding, "You don't know the future either. You may trip into your house tomorrow. You may find your family in the middle of the street. Or return to find your family has fended for themselves and thrived, pulling together in your absence."

She'll do as asked, but only because it means she can pretend for a moment that he's not looking at her with concern. It falls right under 'pity' in her list of things she hates other people to feel for her. She's strong enough on her own - no one should have to be strong for her. Her eyes close, she takes a slow, deep breath, lets it out slowly, then opens her eyes. Nothing has changed, but she feels somehow... different about it. Not a lot, but enough.

"I suppose you're right," she concedes. "I've spent so much time dwelling on how things could go wrong that I forgot to wonder what would happen if everything I planned for them went right." A handkerchief is produced from one of her many pouches and used to wipe off her cheeks. There are still tears in her eyes, so she doesn't dare dab at them yet, lest they might start falling, too. "It's hard to remember things like that when you're completely alone, though."

It is. He'd agree with her but doesn't say so aloud for fear of being unable to stop himself pointing out that it's yet another reason for her to tell her family. Instead, he pats her arm again and then brings his hands together again to fidget.

"You're not alone. Not really. I'm here to help, even if I'm not any good at it. I'll try, and there are lots of really very friendly people around here."

"You're very kind," she says with a smile. And sweet. So different than ~~her inventor friend~~ anyone she's used to dealing with. "I'll try not to be a burden as we figure this out."

Feeling a bit better, she dabs at her eyes with her handkerchief before putting it away and standing. "I should be going, though. I have a few things I need to take care of still today. Whatever 'today' means in a place like this, of course." There's a small laugh and a shake of her head at that thought. The Nexus was definitely the strangest place she's ever been.

She smiles once more before walking around the table to his side. Despite the confused look she's sure to get, she'll lean close and give him a very gentle kiss on the cheek. As she pulls away, she speaks softly. "I'm sure we'll see each other again soon." With one last smile, she'll leave him to his books, her echoing footsteps disappearing the moment she's outside the alcove door.

Scholarly meeting [Tagging Viatorus]

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(Sorry for the delay - I wanted to give this post my full attention to get it right)

It's no problem!

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