rogueinladysclothing | Scholarly meeting [Tagging Viatorus]

On the border of the Parklands and the Commercial District of the Nexus stands a grand library. Its tall, arched entry way and high vaulted ceilings remind one of a church rather than a library. Inside, though, the walls of each of the three floors are stacked high with books, their ranks broken only by the large, stained glass windows. Rows upon rows of bookshelves across the floors offer even more volumes to those who set foot inside the library. A true scholar's delight.

For Amelia, though, the rows of books mean little. Without direction of where to start, it would mean little for her to delve into the complexities of new technologies or the rich histories of the many worlds from which the books come. She'll start in on them, someday, when she knows the best place to begin.

In a small alcove off the main entryway, there stands half a dozen polished wooden tables with matching high backed chairs with plush cushions. It is one of several, all of which have varying decor and furniture, but this one inspires the feel of the European Renaissance. Rich tapestries hang on the walls and a suit of armor holding a tall battle axe stands in the corner. The room makes Amelia feel more at ease, especially when she finds Viatorus Durant sitting at one of the tables with several large volumes spread out in front of him.

Although her entrance would cause no great alarm to him, she stops in the doorway and shuffles her feet noisily. No visible weapons hang from her belt, though the discerning eye would notice the two daggers still laced into her boots. She smiles in Viatorus' direction as she leans against the doorway. "Hard at work?"

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"They're allowed to choose whatever they want. I only ever helped my father push my brothers in directions they told me they wanted to go. And now they're settled with wonderful, full lives ahead of them. I can't be faulted for finding a way to make their dreams possible." She knows that's not exactly what he meant, but she still feels the need to explain that much.

The rest is much harder to explain. "I'm not trying to protect them just from something they've seen before or understand. Those demons I spoke of? Those people who used them? They're not from my city, not from the world my family knows. I do have help protecting them from those things, from the friends I spoke of before. But I've built this world they live in, made things so much better, easier for them. They shouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. Why is it so wrong of me to want to keep it that way for them?"

Her hands clench into fists as they rest on her knees. This subject... it's not one she likes talking about and her discomfort is obvious. Family is all this woman has in life. It's all she's ever allowed herself to have. Being told she'd made the wrong choice stings much deeper than Viatorus is likely to realize.

Viatorus frowns, his brow twisted in concern, not anything accusatory. "That might seem like protecting them now, and it might work, for now. But sometimes the obvious answer isn't the best one. Knowledge is power and the more they know, the more their choices in life can build on what you've already given them. Isn't the best thing to help them help themselves?"

The idea of keeping important information from people is not one that sits comfortably with him. Still, he knows she means well. He can see that she means well. Her world isn't his, her problems aren't his... He has no right to dictate to her what is 'best', and yet he wants to help.

He sighs and looks away, shaking his head. "Nevermind. I'm... It... I'm overstepping my bounds, I'm sorry. It's your world, your family. You know best."

She's silent for a few minutes, staring down at the clenched fists in her lap. He means well, and she knows it. Perhaps, if things were different, she might have walked a different path, chosen a different one for herself and her family. But as it stands... there's no turning back.

"I get it," she says softly, still not looking up. "But the choice has been made. I can't go back and change it now even if I wanted. I can't get home. I can't tell them anything. I can't 'help them help themselves.' I can't make anymore choices for them or regarding them or anything. I can't... I can't protect them anymore."

Her eyes stay focused on her lap, but... The thoughts, the pain - it's all too much. Tears blur her vision and begin slowly rolling down her cheeks. She wishes she had more control, that she could get herself to stop, that she wasn't so weak. In the end, she covers her face with her hands and leans over her lap more, wishing yet again that all of this was just some terrible nightmare.

"Oh." She's crying. Oh, he feels awkward now. He knows she probably does to, because he would if he were her. He has to help... but he has no idea how to. "Uh..."

He reaches out a hand to pat her arm. It's nervous, uneasy. A trembling hand and light touch. He doesn't do contact well. It's not something he's used to.

"It's alright," he offers in a soft pleading. "It's alright. This is only a temporary set back. We'll get you back soon. They won't even notice you've gone. Trust that it will be alright, that it will all work out, and the universe will make it so. I promise."

She jumps at the contact. It's unexpected, but... it's nice. He might think she's ignoring it when she speaks, but she really is grateful for it.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." It's a saying everyone in her world knows, one she suspects everyone in every world knows. Her hands move away from her face just enough to keep her words from getting blocked by them. "Your research may fail. My world may not want me back. Something terrible could happen and I could be killed before there's any possibility of another try to open a portal. There is no guarantee that it will work even if we do get the portal open. It may go too far back or too far forward. The possibilities for failure are endless." And she has already spent hours going through them all in her head.

"I know you mean well, that you're trying, but I..." She lowers her hands and looks over at him. "I don't have any hope."

"Close your eyes, take a breath and then look around." He offers her a small smile. "Could have ever imagined, even in your wildest dreams, that a place like this existed? A place that defies everything we both know. A place filled with books of people defying the impossible and coming out of the unknown with newfound knowledge and experience."

He lets that sink in for a second before adding, "You don't know the future either. You may trip into your house tomorrow. You may find your family in the middle of the street. Or return to find your family has fended for themselves and thrived, pulling together in your absence."

She'll do as asked, but only because it means she can pretend for a moment that he's not looking at her with concern. It falls right under 'pity' in her list of things she hates other people to feel for her. She's strong enough on her own - no one should have to be strong for her. Her eyes close, she takes a slow, deep breath, lets it out slowly, then opens her eyes. Nothing has changed, but she feels somehow... different about it. Not a lot, but enough.

"I suppose you're right," she concedes. "I've spent so much time dwelling on how things could go wrong that I forgot to wonder what would happen if everything I planned for them went right." A handkerchief is produced from one of her many pouches and used to wipe off her cheeks. There are still tears in her eyes, so she doesn't dare dab at them yet, lest they might start falling, too. "It's hard to remember things like that when you're completely alone, though."

It is. He'd agree with her but doesn't say so aloud for fear of being unable to stop himself pointing out that it's yet another reason for her to tell her family. Instead, he pats her arm again and then brings his hands together again to fidget.

"You're not alone. Not really. I'm here to help, even if I'm not any good at it. I'll try, and there are lots of really very friendly people around here."

"You're very kind," she says with a smile. And sweet. So different than ~~her inventor friend~~ anyone she's used to dealing with. "I'll try not to be a burden as we figure this out."

Feeling a bit better, she dabs at her eyes with her handkerchief before putting it away and standing. "I should be going, though. I have a few things I need to take care of still today. Whatever 'today' means in a place like this, of course." There's a small laugh and a shake of her head at that thought. The Nexus was definitely the strangest place she's ever been.

She smiles once more before walking around the table to his side. Despite the confused look she's sure to get, she'll lean close and give him a very gentle kiss on the cheek. As she pulls away, she speaks softly. "I'm sure we'll see each other again soon." With one last smile, she'll leave him to his books, her echoing footsteps disappearing the moment she's outside the alcove door.

Scholarly meeting [Tagging Viatorus]

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