Letting in the outside world [Tagging Viatorus]

[rogueinladysclothing]

Days come. Days go. How many has she spent alone in the darkness, away from the world outside?

Too many. Far too many.

The dreams are becoming too much for her to handle. The nightmares are bad, but the dreams… the dreams are so much worse. Dreams of finishing those things she had started with her friends, of things working out exactly as she had planned. Of a love that she missed her chance at.

A special trip out is made to charge her phone at a cafe near the Plaza before the sun rises at her inn. Once it’s charged, she rushes back to her room and writes a few overdue text messages to the first friend she ever made in the Nexus.

Viatorus? Things have… changed in the Nexus. I don’t even know if this is still your phone number.

She waits a few minutes for a response before sending two more messages. Even if it’s not Viatorus’ number anymore, she isn’t giving away any details that could cause harm by some unknown person having them.

If it’s still your number, can you come to my inn? It’s not the Fox and Crosier anymore but it’s still in the same place. Different but still much the same.

My room number hasn’t changed either.

A few minutes pass before she sends one final text.

Please. I really want to see you.

If it comes across as desperate, it’s because she is.

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[rogueinladysclothing]

Hearing that it was nice brings the pain back, but only briefly. It flashes across her face, but is quickly schooled away as she rises.

"I'm all right." No she's not. Her complete lack of emotions is enough to give that away. "But I shouldn't keep you any longer. You have other things to do and I can manage on my own." Another hollow smile appears on her lips. "Thank you for coming to see me today."

She's retreating hard now, but what else can she do? She doesn't want to lose it in front of him again, doesn't want to keep him here any longer. The numbness will only last so long and when it fades? She'd rather not cling to him for comfort.

[heirtothearcane]

Yet again, he finds himself causing more grief than he can comfort. He's not surprised. Or, at least, he shouldn't be. Disappointing people is clearly what he does. Second to dreamwalking, naturally.

That doesn't make leaving her here alone any easier. He knows those smiles are hollow. He knows the lifelessness of a feigned expression. He knows what's underneath it all.

"Maybe I can call someone else for you," he offers gently. "I'd hate for you to be on your own. It doesn't seem right."

https://youtu.be/beM2Bf3sDDY

[rogueinladysclothing]

The offer of another person to share in her grief causes no small amount of terror for her. It was hard enough for her to reach out to him today, why would she want to see someone else when she's been so completely destroyed?

"No, thank you. I'll be fine." No you won't. "But, perhaps, I could get some of that tea you spoke of earlier? For dreamless sleeping."

He seems so far away now, but it's for the best. He doesn't have the luxury of choosing who to be with and she's an unattached distraction. The distance will shrink with time, but for now? It's best if they stay far apart.

[heirtothearcane]

"Of course." He scrambles to get the small brown paper bag from his inside jacket pocket and a pen to jot down the instructions. As he writes he motions to another brown paper bag on the table. "I brought you croissants as well in case you were hungry. I wasn't sure what you'd like, but they're fresh and light."

Setting the tea down by the croissants, he fiddles with the pen as he looks at her. "Well. Um. If I can do anything more for you... do call. Or call someone else, if you'd prefer." He's digging himself a hole the more he speaks, he knows it. "Do take care of yourself, Amelia. And do call someone, anyone, if you need anything. There's no shame in it. Really."

[rogueinladysclothing]

All of his concern is touching, but it also hurts. It's getting hard to breathe again and keeping her struggle to a minimum in front of him becomes a constant battle. She needs to let him go, needs to give them both space from this wholly upsetting event.

"If I need someone, I'll call. Thank you." Her voice is stern and leaves no room for discussion. She motions for him to use the space in her room for a portal. They both know there's enough space and they both need the quick out. But this time there's no goodbye, no sweet kiss on the cheek to bid him farewell. Just a nod and a small wave as Amelia tries to hold herself together until he leaves.