rogueinladysclothing | A turn of magical events [Tagging Viatorus]

He checks the weight of the pot before pouring himself a cup of tea. Strong, but that's alright. Tea made, he sits into the armchair, rubbing one of the knuckles that Lyra had used as a pincushion. It helps distract him from the reminder of the things they've agreed to ignore.

The smile he pulls is strained but he's determined to be upbeat. "That's alright." Moving swiftly along, he asks, "Did you sleep well?"

She hates seeing those smiles. It makes her heart sink, knowing she's the cause, but she won't linger on it. He's trying to push past it and she'd rather avoid the whole subject as well.

"Very well, thank you." A beat and a small laugh. "I didn't even have a chance to take off my boots before I fell asleep. The bed was far too comfortable and I too exhausted." It would make sense, though, that someone who sleeps as much as Viatorus would have the most comfortable bed she's ever laid on - even if this one is set aside specifically for guests.

"And you? I trust you slept well, too." She offers him a small smile, trying to show she's making an effort to stay upbeat, too.

"Yes. Yes, I did." He answers with a little nod that makes his hair jiggle oddly. As soon as he's answered he can feel the awkward silence settling into the room. It's his job as host to make sure she's not uncomfortable, so he jumps into the next conversation.

"You're already reading again," he comments lightly. His eyebrows shoot up as he realises how he should have led this conversation. "Oh! How are you feeling, by the way?"

She raises an eyebrow at him. "Of course. I didn't want to wake you, so I thought I'd get more research in." It seems completely logical to her. It's how she's handled everything else at this point, too. Too early for noise in her room at the inn? Either go out or do more research. Research has a tendency to win these days, given her awful sleep schedule, so it made sense to get up and start again once she was awake.

The question gets a small smile. "I feel fine. Normal... I think." She shakes her head a bit and laughs. "I guess I don't really know what 'normal' is anymore, but I'm sure I'll figure it out in time."

There's a short beat of silence as she takes a sip of tea, before she asks, "So, when do we get started on learning control?" Somewhere in her mind she knows he's going to suggest she slow down - she vaguely remembers a conversation about that last night - but she can't help it. She finally has magic and she has no intention of slowing down now.

It might surprise her when he replies, "Oh, immediately."

Now that they're both rested and there's no immediate threat of her burning down everything around her, they need to work on making sure it stays that way. He takes a moment to sip at his tea to help him wake up a little more. To help him think this through. "Firstly I think we'll get you some more reading material. Maybe see if the library has electronic copies. That way we can get you a tablet and you won't burn it to ashes as easily." Another thoughtful sip. "And then we'll introduce you to earth properly, and then maybe water. I'll work through some techniques to help you."

It is surprising that he wants to start right away, but she won't try to stop him. If he wants to get going, it's all the better for her.

And, really, breakfast can always wait for magic.

The comment about the tablet makes her frown, though. "Oh, come on, once I've learned some control it won't matter, right? I don't need another device to keep track of, especially if I'm only using it for reading." Is she... is she pouting at him to try and get her way? Surely he's seeing things and she's just frowning at him. ~~No, that's totally a pout.~~

"Can you show me how you swim, then? After you've introduced me to water? Like you were suggesting at your birthday party?" Despite the fact that this is all very heavy material, she can't help but be excited. Not only does she have magic, she has a friend who genuinely wants to help her learn and understand it. And with someone like Viatorus on her side, surely she can move through the beginning stages of all of this quickly so she can start learning the defensive magicks she's really looking forward to.

The pout is met with a tilt of his head and a look that's only a touch stern. Or what passes for stern in Viatorus' range of expression. "You haven't learnt control yet, and you definitely haven't practiced it. I don't want you burning any more books. We'll get you a tablet."

Her next suggestion makes him pause in surprise. "Oh... Yes, I... I suppose." It takes a few beats for him to factor that into the plan forming. "But first books- No. Tablet, then books. Then introduction to the other elements. Not air, though. Not quite yet."

She sighs, perhaps a bit more dramatically than necessary. "All right. But nothing fancy. I don't need to spend too much on something like this if it's only for reading." If he thought for a second he would be helping out financially for this tablet he's suggested, he's going to be very disappointed.

But his comment about air gets her attention. "Why not air? What's so bad about it?"

It had been his plan, and that she's already trying to foil it has a frown pass briefly across his brow. He's quick to share some of his scholarly philosophy, however. "You can never spend too much on something that's for reading."

"Nothing, but I don't think you're ready for it yet." He sets his cup down again, a stalling move to help him choose his words. "I... believe your connection with fire comes from an emotional, passionate place. That's usually how people connect with fire. Water is like that too. It's an emotional, empathic element, but it's less likely to aggravate the impulsive, combustive properties of fire. It might be a way to channel your emotion into something less... explosive. Earth will help you ground yourself, and let you dictate how fast you get acquainted with your power. It will help with control."

It's not that she wouldn't be grateful for the gift, it's that it's not expected and that she has more than enough money to pay for it herself. Truly, the idea that he would simply want to buy it for her doesn't even cross her mind. "A rare book is worth its weight in gold," she agrees.

As she listens to him explain, she nods slowly. All of that makes sense, based on everything she's been reading. "Control will be good. The last thing I need is to burn down the inn." She's actually rather worried about that. Finding a new place to live would be a little further outside of her comfort zone than she's ready for right now.

But before that thought can settle in, she presses on. "I assume we're not going to practice here so I can't start anything in your home on fire?" It's a poor attempt at a joke, but she's trying and that's what counts, right? "If that's the case, we should get going, because... Oh, what's the phrase I keep hearing... 'No time like now,' or something ...right?" ...she's trying really hard today, okay?

It's with certainty that he amends, "Most books are worth their weight in gold. Knowledge, perspective, it's all invaluable."

"No time like the present," he corrects automatically. It doesn't stir him into action, however. In fact, it brings a small look of disapproval and a sigh. "You're in a rush. Why?"

"Fair." She's not very good the the perspective part, but she'll trust the man who's spent his life studying to know the truth of the matter.

"Ahh! That was it. Right." Mental note made. She'll get it next time, for sure.

His question gets a little hesitation and a slightly pained smile. "I'm a restless person. I always prefer doing something than nothing. If you need time before we get going, I can continue reading, but I'm not going to sit around doing nothing while I wait." That's not all of it, that much is obvious, but she doesn't want to start conversations they've both agreed are best left unsaid.

It's not an entirely satisfactory answer, but it will do. He tries to smooth out the creases on his brow before he speaks. "Well... You're going to have to learn a little patience with this."

He takes up his cup again to sip at it. "Magical ability is like a muscle. You have to train your body for it, you have to train your mind, and you have to set out a routine. Learning how to use it is takes time. Overextend yourself and you could hurt yourself, or other people. It's not even worth risking, because you might hurt yourself so badly that you can never use it properly again."

"All the masters of magic are patient." He holds out a hand, fingers flicking out as he counts. "Oraskis, the Archon, Nathaniel Blackmore, every Healer that has ever graced the family... They all have patience."

"Training and routines are simple enough for me. Once I get started on something, it's easy enough to make it habit." It wouldn't be the first time she's done it and it certainly won't be the last. It's slowing down while she does so that's the issue.

His dropping of names gets a raised eyebrow. "Are these names I should remember for the future...?" Viatorus has mentioned a few names in the past, but the only one that's familiar to her now is the Archon and even that's just a title. "If so, what should I know about them?"

"Can you make not pushing yourself too far a habit too?" If it hadn't been for the watchful eye of his sister and uncle, and the allure of the dreamlands, he might have studied himself into a pit. "You don't have an Isidor to remind you to eat, and I'm no good at remembering for myself let alone anyone else."

"Oh, well... You don't need to," he admits somewhat sheepishly with a small crooked smile and a shrug. "They're my family, so they're not multiversally renowned... But they are all accomplished scholars. They're the masters of magic I know best. Though I don't think you'll be touching on any of their subjects. So no, not really."

A pause. "You might learn a bit about the Archon's work, actually... Maybe... but... not until much, much later."

"...I can try." She walked right into that one, but that doesn't make his reminder any less embarrassing - or his point any less important. Her cheeks flush momentarily before she crosses her arms in front of her chest and exhales to regain her composure.

"I'm curious to know more about your family, but I won't push." Conversations about them in the past were always slightly awkward when she pushed to learn more, hence her wanting to keep her curiosity in check. "As for the rest of it, if you think it would be right for me to learn more about them or what they do, then I trust you'll tell me. If not?" She shrugs her shoulders half-heartedly. "There are always other things to speak of besides magic and family."

Amelia? Backing away from a conversation about family? Either something's very wrong or she's trying very hard to avoid touching on feelings that are still bothering her. Whatever the case may be, she's not meeting his gaze any more.

Edited 2016-06-10 04:39 (UTC)

It's not a solemn promise, but it's something and he'll take what he can get. He smiles at her. "Thank you."

The smile flickers. Where he tried to be casual and relaxed, her reply feels... cool and distant. Maybe she didn't mean to come across that way, but the clear cut response makes him falter. But then, he reminds himself, she's always been good at doing that. The thought has him pulling a softer smile again.

"We have plenty of other things to focus on for now." He tips his head to make sure he has her attention. "I do want you to know that this isn't going to be a quick, or easy thing. I've trained since I was a child, and I'm still training."

One of Amelia's few gifts (or so she would say) seems to be taking conversations from pleasant to sad in the span of a single breath. That she's done it again doesn't surprise her, though her features tug in an pained way for a half second before she focuses on his words, tries to move back to a more positive attitude. ...it doesn't work.

"So even when I have control, I'll be spending the rest of my life fighting to keep it? And, since I'm starting so late in my life, I'm unlikely to impress anyone with what little I can do until I'm too old for it to matter?" She sighs and slouches back into the couch, her arms crossing in front of her chest. "I don't have time to wait. I need to learn as fast as I can, to be good at this now." Why must all of her plans fall apart so quickly? Why must those things that she want always be unattainable? It's not fair and it's that fact, above all else, that makes her frown.

Her words hurt, though he's not entirely sure why. It's... dismissive of his life's calling? Disrespectful of it? He's not sure. He doesn't know. Now is not the time to be mulling over his sudden emotions. It takes him a moment to bury them though.

Taking a deep breath he schools his expression and looks at her seriously. "What do you think about my dreamwalking, Amelia?"

His question is unexpected and she makes no effort to hide the surprise or confusion washing over her face. "I think it's amazing. The way you so easily move through them, change them, and help others is incredible. The way you've described applying it to other situations also shows your skill and dedication, which is equally impressive." A beat and an almost wry smile tugs at her lips. "I admit I don't understand it all that well, but I am no less in awe every time you tell me more about it."

She gets the impression that she missed something - or, more likely, pressed too hard on something she shouldn't have - from the look on his face. "...did I say something wrong before?"

If he answers, they'll get sidetracked, he knows it. Wrong isn't always wrong. It's more complicated than that and right now he needs to focus on explaining something else first. He pushes on, holding her gaze and ignoring her question, at least temporarily.

"If I told you I was going to give it up, because I'll be old by the time I do anything I consider important, or because it takes continuous work... What would you say to me?"

Her eyes widen slightly before a frown settles across her face. "I'd say you were lying - and ask how hard you'd hit your head."

She doesn't like this line of questioning. It can only lead to dark places.

"You wouldn't do that because your magic is a part of you, has always been something that defines you. It's different for you than it is for me."

"It's not something you can get rid of, or abandon." Not true. He knows he's lying, but now is not the time for technicalities. She's not able to appreciate technicalities right now. "You might not have known it until now, but it is a part of you. It will always be a part of you. It will define you whether you use it or not. A power, a skill that's yours. To throw it away, to curse it because it requires... time, effort, respect... because it does not suit your ideal of it..."

He can't even find an appropriate word. Instead he just sighs, frustrated at his inability to articulate himself. At the flippancy she's showing all of this. Giving up, he tilts his head at her. "What did you think it was? A gift that served your every desire with a thought or gesture? Do you think it doesn't come with a cost? With responsibility?"

"It's certainly not a gift, not with what I went through to get it. But I didn't want it for myself - I wanted this for you!"

The moment the words are out, she covers her mouth and looks at him with a look of pure terror on her face. All those months of hiding away, of late nights and skipped meals, of avoiding him altogether, and for what? For her to get magic and feel so overwhelmed by the responsibility of it that she wants to give it up already? For fear that her lack of control and quick progress will have his family turning down her bid to be with him?

How typically, selfishly like herself that is.

Her voice is very small and her words rushed when she speaks again. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I spoke out of turn. Forget I said anything, because it... it doesn't matter, right? We're friends. Just friends." She rubs at her eyes and tries to smile at him, but fails horribly.

Why did she open her mouth to speak? Why is she even allowed to speak? This whole thing is a disaster and she's squarely to blame.

"Me? Why would you want magi-?" The answer smacks him in the face and his confusion vanishes, leaving him stunned. He stares at her for half a second and then looks away to hide a sudden surge of emotion that a moment ago had been firmly locked away. Setting his cup carefully down on the table only buys him seconds.

"Ame..." Her name trails off and he swallows hard, taking a deep breath as he tries to process this without panicking. He desperately wants to panic. His mind already flooded with questions and outcry. Just for a second, he closes his eyes and breathes. When he opens them again, he still doesn't look at her, keeping his pained, confused frown directed at anything but her. "Why... Why would you do something like this? How...? In the hope that... I am not worth that. I was never worth that."

And yet she did it. She did it for him. How many people does he think would go to half that much effort him? And he can't offer her anything in return. He, whose marriage is the one being discussed, can do nothing. That's just the way things are. It's just the way things are.

He spots his hands shaking and brings them together, rubbing his knuckles in an attempt to steady them. Slamming his eyes shut again, he looks away. "There are thousands of... of better men. Men who can... Men who wish..."

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