rogueinladysclothing | [Duplicity] IC Inbox

I believe it's the 15th
He'll be 41 if we actually age here

It would, but I had a thought to that: spoiling him

We can arrange something for him. Together, if you like, or staggered to draw it out.

You had my attention when you mentioned his natal day. Of course we're going to spoil him. What do you have in mind?

I wouldn't mind together or seperate, as our plans shake out. Ultimately, I expect the gift he would want most is simply our time and company.

However, spoiling him into planning a day for him where he doesn't have to decide a thing is something I'd had thought of. Also absolutely wrecking him, of course. Should we take turns, we could certainly pass him back and forth.

However, I think a day where we decide how best he can help and take care of us might be a nice gift to him as well, if we can stomach it for a day.

Edited 2023-05-22 02:18 (UTC)

He'll have my time as he wants it. I'll gladly take a night or two off from work for him. It's far more important to give him my time than it is to work.

Would he be able to make it between us if we're both bringing our best? I might have to bring him to you in a cart if that's the case.

[Ah. That is a good point. Amelia takes a moment to think before she answers.]

I don't know if I could do an entire day, but I could certainly do a few hours. You're right that he would enjoy that, and I would like to give him some part of that.

He'd die happily, darling. I think a fucked-out Wolfe sounds very appealing, he does have a bit of a use kink to utilize.

Perhaps a few hours from us both then for that one? We could still decide the parameters if it makes it easier to bare.

Does he? I hadn't realized, but if that's the case, then we simply must pass him between us on and off the entirety of the month.

I'm not certain it would, but it would be worth the effort. Even setting a few boundaries could help enough to make this easier. Not that I won't struggle without having any say as he does as he likes, but that's for me to deal with, not him.

[And she can damn well keep it to herself if it means Wolfe gets to enjoy himself.]

That sounds like a perfect plan to me. We can leave marks for the other to find and decorate. Be sure to leave him messy now and again for me.

Boundaries are good. Guidelines will help.
Don't underestimate his ability to notice if you're struggling or forcing yourself for his sake, darling.
That won't make him feel good or happy

You want him messy from his time with me? [That's a thing? Dreams, she's learned something new today.

Sigh. Why is Chris so good at saying the quiet part out loud? Damn mirror.]

I know, but what else can I do? I don't let myself be that way for anyone, not fully. Not even him. Letting go completely to allow him to care for me is

I don't know how I'll do it.

I most assuredly do.
I want him well used, sore, and still wet from you when I bend him over to fuck him myself.
Or maybe I'd use the slick he got from you to ride him, I'll decide later.

[Sorry, Amelia, he's not sorry.]

Love, you don't have to do all that.
While the gesture would no doubt mean something, I think going all out like that would have him concerned and fussing the whole time.

Let him do little things. Pampering things. Give you a foot massage, help your bath, sit on his face for his trouble, that sort of thing. No need to fully submit. That should come with time and trust and he'd know it as well as you.

[...this is bringing thoughts to her mind that she's never had before. Dreams, that's... how do people phrase it these days? Hot.]

Then so it shall be. I expect you to send him back to me equally used.

I don't think you understand that they're all the same to me. Letting him have that, all of it, to its fullest extent? That requires letting go entirely for me.

There's never not too many things on my mind. There's no turning those thoughts off for me, no matter how much I love someone. Not unless I'm otherwise distracted by their body. [She might as well be honest about this part.]

I most assuredly will

[But for another time. For now, he's only growing more concerned.]

I feel you might not be understanding me as well.

Tell me what you're picturing when I invite this possibility of pampering?

Anything. Everything. Even so much as being still while someone else does something I can do myself makes me want to claw my way out of the situation.

It's not just with Wolfe. Anyone I love doing things like this for me makes me uncomfortable. I want to do things for everyone else. I don't know how to let them do things for me without going through all the stages of panic multiple times before giving up.

If I do this for him, tell him to care for me, there is no limit to what he can ask for. I can't do that.

[There's a few things there he needs to turn over, but one of them stands out the brightest. That first.]

I never said anything about letting him have his way. You would decide what he would do, what you could let him do, and then let him do it with the full understanding that he knows its an allowance by you. If you tried to sub for him on his birthday or anything so extreme, he would panic himself and turn you down.

Don't do that to the both of you.

There's no difference to me. Allowing someone to care for me? To do something I've told them to do for me when I could just as easily do it myself? It's the same thing.

There's no turning that off. I can't silence my thoughts. Ever.

You know that's the thought behind subbing: being able to turn your mind off a bit in safety.
A thought for you, unless you turn it away out of hand.

So no having him make you lunch and bring it to you where you're relaxing in your living room or preparing a drink to bring to your side? A bit of a shoulder rub for the tension?
All off the table.

[He's trying to make a point, and it still frustrates her to no end. Maybe he can find safety enough to let things go, but she can't.]

Chores I can't do for myself are a thing I would ask for, but that's different. I certainly won't be relaxing while he works. He knows I won't.

If he decides to put his hands on me, I doubt I stay still long enough for it to remain something simple. I don't stay quiet when my mind wanders and someone else is there to hear it.

Right well since all of my ideas sound abhorrent and like torture, how would you like to make the man who finds worth in himself in service feel special on his birthday?

[Dreams, it should not be this difficult. It takes several minutes before he gets an answer.]

I don't know. He wants to do the same things I do, and I don't know how to help that. I couldn't help myself if asked.

I don't want him to feel I don't love him when that's not true, but the best I could give him is a list of chores I won't

[Wait. That's it. Maybe.]

I could embroider something while he works. Let him do things while my hands are busy and I can still talk to him. There's always plenty that needs doing for a house as large as Shadows' Rest.

[There's a sigh on Chris' end, even if there's a tangle in him still. It's small and easily buried and not the point of this conversation anyway.]

There you are, darling. That sounds perfect. I'm sure you can find a way to thank him that'll please you both and he'll feel accomplished and helpful and you'll have your lovely work at hand.
I think he'll like the arrangement.

[Finally, she's done something right.]

If needs be, we can work something out together for his thanks. It may mean I take the upper hand, but I must properly thank him for all his hard work on my behalf.

I'm sorry for how much this burdens you, talking me through my panic. It's usually Wolfe dealing with it, though that's not really an option in this particular instance.

Of course you must, I'd expect nothing less.

What burdens me is not helping you, its your assumption of me. This is not easier or pleasant for me, that's why I suggested it. He'll know we're trying. For him.

[It's... not easier for him? For how often she's seen him simply give in Wolfe's prompting or not fought him when the mage started to fuss or offer care, this is surprising. Amelia takes a few minutes to sit with that before answering, eventually deciding she doesn't want to fight this right now. Chris can have his frustration and anger without her pushing back today.]

I'm sorry. Forgive my assumptions.

We'll do this for him. Struggle though it may be, you're right that he'll appreciate it. With so much time to think on it, I'm certain I can find a full list of work for him to do before I ask him to bed.

[IT's...something. Maybe if he'd said something sooner, but he hadn't thought it necessary. It's not something he wants to fight about and just as swiftly as the feeling had built, it drains away again.]

Wonderful. Feel free to send me pictures, if you like.

Pictures? Of Wolfe doing chores?

[Why would she do that?]

Pictures of the happy little smile he's going to get while he does something for you.

[Why else?]

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