rogueinladysclothing | Low points in high places [Tagging Verity]

Current Mood: depressed

Entry tags:

Low points in high places [Tagging Verity]

Apologies are not something that come easily for Amelia, especially when they're deserved. True, she's only managed one true apology when several are needed, but she finds waiting for resolution after the fact to be even worse.

She hardly goes out anymore. The Fox and Crosier has all the essentials for living, so her only reason for visiting the Commercial District or the Forum is pure curiosity, but even that's in short supply these days. The weight of her actions, of the consequences of a poorly made decision, rest heavily on her. Most hours of the day are spent in the yew tree outside her window, trying to figure what to do next, debating if it's worth going out into public.

On yet another warm and pleasant afternoon, it's in those tree branches that Amelia finds herself. Dressed in the clothes of Verity's world, her hair down, her hair pin being turned over slowly in her hands. She looks as terrible as she feels, but as no one comes to see her here, she doesn't really care.

Someday, she's going to be embarrassed about her current appearance, especially the fact that her hair is full of leaves from the tree.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

Yeah, that's a hell of a thing, isn't it? "Sometimes. Gold is edible, so it's a great way to spend a lot of money showing off. I've seen it on all kinds of food. Honestly, if I were going to spend that kind of money, I'd get truffles." At least she has standards.

They can go onward to the pizza, in that case. Probably for the best that Amelia not get any more sweets right now. Best for her stomach, anyway. "You still have an appetite for pizza, right?"

"I... can't even imagine..." And really, she can't. The idea of "gold leaf" doesn't make sense to her, so she's stuck picturing someone shaking gold off of a dirty coin onto a cookie. It seems less than pleasant.

Verity's got her hands full with the box of chocolates, so Amelia's going to grab onto her arm once they're outside. "Definitely. We can get the small pizzas still, right? So we can try multiple things?" So excited about the smallest things. Seems being set free from the weight of her responsibilities in her world is helping her open up.

"You're probably happier not bothering too much about it." Maybe some things are better off not even imagined.

It's not so big a box she's encumbered by it, but if Amelia wants to hang onto her arm, that's fine. She's certainly getting more tactile. "Yes, we can try lots of different toppings. We have to figure out what your favorite is, after all. Everyone has a favorite kind of pizza."

Only with you, Verity. Everyone else still gets those furtive eyes and hair pin fidgets when she wants to reach out a hand to comfort them. And she sure as hell doesn't want to just hold someone's hand (the implications of such forward thinking, gasp!). Still, she likes being this close to Verity - she feels safe at this close proximity.

"I have a lot of things to try, then, give all the ingredients that were available last time we had pizza." A small laugh escapes her as she thinks about it. Yes, she's definitely feeling better about a lot of things. "What's your favorite kind of pizza? Should we have one of those today?"

Oh, she very much wants to hold hands, and she's done so enough. It's not anything Verity's going to get upset about either way. Holding hands is nice, walking arm-in-arm is nice, not being angry with each other anymore is best.

"My favorite is red sauce with spinach, onions, and mushrooms. Loki's was Hawaiian. Ham, bacon, and pineapple." There's a little hitch in her voice when she has to talk about Loki in the past tense, but she soldiers on. "The most popular where I'm from was pepperoni, which is a kind of spicy sausage."

Verity's her go-to person for hand holding. It's not like she'd run straight up to Nathan when she got home to her world and ask to hold his hand. ...well, right away, anyway.

The Loki thing gets glossed over. Amelia gets it and she's not going to push on Verity for it. "Those all sound interesting, but... pineapple? What's that? Another vegetable?" Here, have something to focus on that's not directly Loki-related.

Maybe she should. They'd both be happier.

It's a welcome change of subject. "Pineapple is a kind of fruit. It's sweet and tart at the same time. Maybe pizza isn't the best first introduction to it, so, we'll save that for another time. Most pizza toppings are either meat or vegetable, or different kinds of cheese. And then there are the different kinds of crusts... the important decision there is, bready or crispy." Deep-dish can wait for another day.

It would certainly be a conversation starter...

"I thought pizza was going to be easy after the last time we had it together." She can't help but laugh at the thought. Oh how wrong she was about that! "Perhaps we should start with your favorite kind of pizza - crust and all - and slowly move on from there. We've got time." There's almost something sad about how she says that, but she's not going to press on it. Thoughts about whether or not she can go home again can wait for another day.

Ah, well, can't have that. Conversations might lead somewhere.

"It's easy in that it's simple, you just put what you like on top. But that doesn't narrow down the choices any." She side-eyes Amelia for a moment. She doesn't like this defeatist attitude. "Yeah. I'm hoping you'll still come visit once you've found the way home."

She's more worried about the conversation ending poorly. They haven't exactly had really good communication before now. Lots of yelling, lots of avoiding saying things on both sides of a conversation, and, of course, the fact that she's kissed him twice now. True, it was on the cheek, but they never really talked about it.

"It's going to take quite a while to get through all of the options," she agrees. "Especially given the number of spices I like to put on my food."

Oh, damn. She was hoping Verity would ignore that. "Of course I'll come back - there's no way I'll have picked a favorite pizza before I go home." That's a terrible joke and after a quick smile, Amelia's looking down at her boots. They're terribly interesting right now.

And not talking has been working wonderfully for them, has it?

"Oh, once we start adding different spices to the mix... I should probably confess: I don't think I've had all the options yet either." Once pizza goes fusion, it's all over. Nobody can keep up.

"Hey now. This defeatist attitude is beneath you, Amelia. You're better than this."

To be fair, the only thing that's ever gone well for them is the accounting lessons she gave him. She's the Queen of Bad Timing, which certainly doesn't help. Now she has to hope she gets home so she can try again.

"There must be thousands of combinations - a lifetime would be required to try them all. Or a desire to eat nothing but pizza for several years." She certainly wouldn't expect any one person to try them all. If they find something like before then, there's no need to force yourself to try something new every time you get pizza.

Those eyes of hers are staying glued to her feet. "I can't fix everything in one day," she points out, "and this is something I've done for a very long time. It's going to be a hard thing to un-learn." Her grip on Verity's arm loosens unconsciously as she sighs. "I'm sorry. I am trying, though."

Then it sounds like time to try something new.

"Thousands of thousands, maybe. But you're right, trying to try them all would take a particular kind of dedication that leaves no room for other delicious things. Except you could put it on the pizza, and have the best of both worlds, and now I'm making myself hungry." Now she's having crazy ideas, like mac and cheese pizza. She may be making one for herself one of these days.

"I know. I'm not expecting you to." The loosened hold on her arm means Verity can wrap that arm around her. Now look what you've done, Amelia. "I'm proud of you for trying. But you know, if you're staring at your feet, you can't see your future up ahead. Can you try and look up, just a little?"

Slowly, Amelia nods and looks up at Verity. The best she can offer at this point is a small, sad smile and a slow arm wrapped around Verity's waist. That's what people do when one wraps an arm around the other's shoulders, right? Seriously, this physical comfort/contact stuff is complicated.

"Better?"

Edited 2015-11-01 01:44 (UTC)

"Much better," she agrees. Amelia's shoulders get a gentle squeeze. She may think this stuff is complicated, but she's doing an excellent job so far. Maybe it's not as antithetical to her nature as she thinks? "Things look better this way, don't they?"

With her head up, she can see the pizza place is just down the road. That's always good news.

"Kind of." Honestly? It hurts just putting one foot in front of the other right now, since she has no idea how she's supposed to change everything about herself in order to get better. Small steps are required and right now she's trying to take huge leaps instead. If she had that much trouble with Alex, someone she's known for months, how is she supposed to handle new people? Or people who hate her after what she did?

It's not something she's looking forward to.

Pizza is a welcome sight, but she's starting to look a bit tired. It's been a long day, and the fact that she only managed a few pieces of toast for breakfast doesn't help. The roller coaster of stress has done terrible things to her eating habits as of late.

Nobody's telling her to change everything. Nobody but her. She's more than a bad temper--or she could be if she let herself.

"I know it's not easy, but it's easier if you don't try to do it alone." And she isn't alone. That should be obvious. The tired look isn't great, but they're practically already here, and she needs to eat. Toast and chocolate is not going to get her far. "We can sit down inside and relax a bit," she offers quietly.

She'll come to that realization in time, but for now... well, she's always been one with a flair for the dramatic.

"I appreciate all your help, Verity. Really, I do." If she could be honest about only one thing today, this would be it. Verity has been great and it's a huge relief to have someone like her to go through all of this with. It also means Amelia won't be as willing to withdraw from the world, because now she has a reason to be out in the world.

"A quiet corner? I'm a little overwhelmed right now." She's not suggesting that they disappear completely, but a little distance between them and the rest of the Nexus would be nice right about now.

"You're welcome." No need to dwell on it. Verity's not doing this to flatter her own ego or anything. "Sure, a quiet corner sounds good."

It's preferable to them both, and not hard to arrange once they're inside. A polite request to the waitress gets them a table in the back, where they have some distance from the other diners and a row of potted plants that help act as a sound barrier within the space between them and the chatter. They can sit and peruse the menu in peace, interrupted only by the waitress bringing them some ginger ales that Verity orders when they sit down.

Oh sweet, delicious ginger ale. Amelia had almost forgotten about your glorious flavor. You're going to be gone by the time the waitress comes to take their order.

"I think I want to try this special pizza they have on the menu," she says after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "The one with Italian sausage, pepperoni, and mushrooms. It sounds interesting." Her menu is set aside and she offers a hand to Verity for when the woman's done looking over the menu. They can keep up with the physical comforts for now. They're doing wondrous things for Amelia's state of being.

The great thing about soda at a pizza parlour is: there's always more. She just needs to ask.

"Mm, that does sound good." Verity sets her menu aside when Amelia does. Since they'd decided on the walk, she was looking out of curiosity more than a need to decide on anything. "That could get pretty spicy. That okay with you?"

Yes, there can be more hand-holding. Verity will hold Amelia's in both of her own, cradled and safe. Pizza and hand-holding is becoming their "thing". Hopefully, Amelia will be able to better handle the people making wrong but well-intentioned assumptions in the future.

When the waitress comes by, she's definitely doing that. More fizzy deliciousness must obtained!

Verity's question gets a bit of a shrug. "I've never had anything like it before, but I think so. I guess we'll find out." Her world is missing some plants that would give the spiciest flavors found in the Nexus, but it does pretty well. She'll be fine, so long as she enjoys the flavor of the pepperoni.

Amelia's going to be decidedly quiet when the waitress does come by, aside from asking for a refill of ginger ale. And she's going to ignore that raised eyebrow being thrown in their direction thank you very much. But the moment the waitress is gone, Amelia leans close and whispers, "Does two people holding hands in public always get a look like that?"

It'll be an education. And if Amelia doesn't end up liking it, they can always switch.

Verity doesn't mind ordering for them both if Amelia's not up to talking to strangers right now. She's going to be exhausted when she gets home, but that's okay. Maybe she'll finally sleep. The waitress' look is met with one of Verity's own, and she is the queen of sarcastic eyebrows. "Some people think it's inappropriate for two people of the same sex to be romantically involved, and hand-holding is often assumed to be for romantic purposes. It's unfortunately common. But it doesn't matter what she thinks. There's nothing wrong with friends comforting each other."

Amelia frowns slightly. "I thought people around here were better about this sort of thing. I mean, I expected the question of 'are the two of you together?' after our adventure with the security guard, but... that kind of reaction seems out of place." She jerks her head toward the kitchen where the waitress disappeared to emphasize her point. "I don't even see that sort of thing in my world, and we seem to be behind in just about every way possible."

"Well... everyone's from someplace different. Maybe some worlds are less understanding of these things than others. It takes all of us time to come to terms with some aspect of life here." She pats Amelia's hand before withdrawing one of hers so she can sip her soda. "Or, who knows, maybe she just got dumped and hates anyone who seems to be in a happy relationship. We don't know."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject